A figure covered completely in black, with its face hidden, walks onto the stage.

[Snape:] (sternly) Who are you?

[Figure:] I, Syn, will never tell you who I am!

[Snape:] Did you not just tell me?

[Figure:] I... D'oh!

[Snape:] Synasia, sit down and behave yourself!

[Syn:] Oh, sir, but I AM behaving myself...

(audience gasp)

[Snape:] Detention with Filch! Now, begin this retardment for an interview or I will be forced to resign!

Silence

[Snape:] I will quit!

(audience burst into cries and whispers)

[Syn:] Ok, ok. (takes off long cloak and sits down) Today we'll be discussing your relationship with the Death Eaters

[Snape:] Don't be so stupid! You know very well how we agreed not to discuss that much of my past.

[Syn:] (gasp) (echoing in head) stupid, stupid, stupid... FINE! Let's not talk about the Death Eaters! We have to talk about something, though

[Snape:] (folding arms and looking away)

[Syn:] I know!

(audience moan)

[Snape:] No! Why not talk about yourself? I don't particularly admire being the centre of attention every split second of my life

[Syn:] Um... ok. What do you want to know?

[Snape:] Perhaps you will be able to fathom how I feel. Synasia, what were all your boyfriend's names since your fourteenth birthday?

[Syn:] But I'm fifteen...

[Snape:] In which way do I care?

(audience snigger)

[Syn:] (glare) Ok, let's see. I've had five (holding up three fingers) since my fourteenth birthday. They're names were Kevin, Mike, Sev-

[Snape:] I did not go out with you, you insolent, little child!

[Syn:] (looks at Severus) Hi, Severus! (waves)

[Snape:] (gets up and leaves)

[Syn:] Was it something I said? Well, I guess this concludes our interview. See ya next time! (waves)

(audience cheer)
(curtains close)

[Syn:] (behind curtain) We had curtains?