Snape's Chambers

Snape's Chambers -- the funny side of liking Professor Snape  
Severus Snape
Snape for Dummies
Alan Rickman
Facts and Rumours
Snape Wouldn't Say
Too Much Snape
Snape Top Ten
Snape's Corner
Marriage Prospectives
Tic Tac Toe
Agony Snape
Ask Snape
Dating Snape
Oh, the sanity!
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The section is all about stuff Snape would never say. Unless he banged into a wall, then that's another story... Click here to add some more. New ones are put at the bottom  

"Minerva, can I borrow your nail polish?"

"Wow! These romance novels are good!"

"She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not..."

"How's my hair?"

"Please don't hurt me!"

"Aggghhhhh! I'm going bald!"

"Sure, I'll donate money for homeless children"

"Oh, I don't have anything to wear today!!" *throws a hissy fit*

*sniff* "E.T... no..."

"Aww! Look at that cute lil' kitty over there!"

(Watching TV) "JE-RRY! JE-RRY! JE-RRY!"

"Aggh! I've got grey hair!"

Snape: Doesn't Hagrid remind you of that ghost from The Muppet's Christmas Carol?
McGonagall: Er...
Snape: Should I break it to him, or should you?

"Go me!"


"Wow! I never knew how ballet dancing could be so much fun!"

Severus: I have no doubt in what I do. I do it 'coz I damn well feel like it!
Minerva: O.K, Severus, who ate my pot roast?!
Severus: I swear, it was him! *points to two month old Harry*

(Upon waking up in bed one morning) "Aggh! %@*&! I wet the bed!"

"Dumbledore, how old am I?"

(watching the X-files) "SCULLY! IT’S NOT MULDER! RUN! The other way you idiot, he just locked that door!"


"Ten points for Gryffindor!"

"Five points from Slyhterin!"

"Well done, Potter!" (Not in that sarcastic tone)

"Hermione, my dear, come to my chambers when everyone sleeps. I've set a special task for you" *wink, wink*

"Does anyone know a good plastic surgeon?! Anyone?!"

"Lockhart! You've got to tell me who does your hair!"

"Well, I never!"

"Minerva! Let go of my hair!"


"Oh, what ever should I do with these split ends?"

"You know, I think I'll wear pink, today" (Merc Girlie)

"I'm very proud of you all!" (Merc Girlie)

"I love working with children!" (Merc Girlie)

"Do you need to talk about it?" (Merc Girlie)

"Oh, Potter! I was so worried about you!" (Merc Girlie)

"Give me a hug!" (Merc Girlie)

"Aghh! I broke a nail!" (Merc Girlie)

"Save me, Harry!" (Merc Girlie)

"Oh, Harry! You look so sexy on that broom! (Tanya)

"Can't we all just get along?" (Possibly) (Lady Mondegreen)

"Yeah, well, ya know what Dumbledore? I still don't have that Defense Against the Dark Arts job, I'm sick of being a lackey, I quit! You hear me? I freakin' quit!" (Lady Mondegreen)

"Harry! I... am... your... father!" (Well, you never know, J.K. could suddenly go lazy.) (Lady Mondegreen)

"Dumbledore, I'm through teaching Potions!" (Trixx)

"I'm taking a sick day!" (Trixx)

"I'm sorry" (Trixx)

"I admit I was wrong" (Trixx)

"Voldemort, you sexy thing!" (Snake)

"Hey! Isn't that the cute new female student? I've gotta send her this Valentine Card!" (Sailor Neptune)

"Oh, Minerva, you look simply divine!" (Sailor Neptune)

"I'm getting married!" (Sailor Neptune)

"Harry, guess what, we're related!!!" 0_o (Sailor Neptune)

"Nonsense, pink and black have always gone together." (Cody)

"Hey, Sirius, let's let bygones be bygones" (Lucy)

"Black is so last season" (Lucy)

"I wonder if it's about time I cut my hair?" (Lucy)

"I'm getting engaged" (Lucy)

"I'm so horny!" (Snake)

"Longbottom, you have the makings of a brilliant wizard." (Rebecca)

"I'm late for my aerobics class." (Kit and Cody)

"Thank you for those lovely daffodils, Potter! They really brighten up the dungeon." (Kit and Cody)

"I'm going to count to ten, and when I turn around, whoever took my rubber ducky had better have it put back, or else." (Kit and Cody)

"Nuts." (Kit and Cody)

"It was like buttah." (a la Linda Richman) (Kit and Cody)

"Shall we go to the bedroom, or do it right here on the table?" (Kit and Cody)

"(singing) I've been really tryyy-in' baby
To hold back this feelin'
For soooo long..."
(that's "Let's Get It On", by Marvin Gaye) (Kit and Cody)

"I don't know what you've done with my underwear, but if even one of those sequins is out of place when I get it back, some heads are going to roll..." (Kit)

"Harry, things between will never be the same since our drunken one night stand, but I want you to know that if you ever need tutoring in 'special areas', I'm here for you." (Vampire Cat)

"Lockhart, you look wonderful in those pink robes! Where did you buy them?" (Dino Girl)

"Oh, do be a dearie, Minerva, and bring me another scoop of strawberry ice cream... Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?" (Cel)

"Tag, you're it!" (Kit and Dave)

"Pull my finger." (Kit and Dave)

"I'll arm-wrestle you." (Kit and Dave)

"Do these robes make me look fat?" (Kit and Dave)

"Hey, are you gonna eat that?" (Kit and Dave)

"Go Gryffindor! Lions for the cup!" (Robert)

"This round's on me!" (Lucy)

"Anyone know of any evening classes?I'm thinking of broadening my horizons." (Lucy)

"Yeah, well, I was into the whole Deatheater thing for a while, but the scene wasn't for me" (Lucy)

"Put those handcuffs away Potter, I'm not that kind of man!" (Lucy)

*Waves some pom-poms*
"Brr! It's COLD in here1
There must be some Hogwarts in the at-mos-sphere!" (Vampire Cat)

(sniffles) "I think I'm gonna cry." (Kiomi)

(singing) "Lollipop! Lollipop! Oh Lolli-lolli, lollipop!" (Kiomi)

"Ron...shove it. Hermione...get laid. Potter...bring the whip." (Kiomi)

"Yes, I'd like to buy a Harry Potter plushie." (Kiomi)

"I've got the urge to Herbal! Gonna Herbal in the shower, for another half an hour!" (Kiomi)

"Sirius... I love you, man!" (Kiomi)

(valley view voice) "Oh-My-God. Look at her is like, SO big." (Kiomi)

*singing* "Wild thing!
You make my heart sing!
You make everything... groovy!
Wild thing!" (Lucy)

"Come and sit next to me, little girl, I have a small surprise for you!" (Tanya)

"You know, Lockhart, I really admire the way you took down that werewolf!" (Casper)

"I love your hair!" (Casper)

*singing, in the bathroom* "Rubbah Ducky. You're The One! You Make Bathtime Lots-o-Fun!" (Sara)

"Dude, where's my car?!" (Sabra and Christine)

"Take this down class - hit it boys! *singing and dancing* 'Round round round round, I getta round, I getta OOOOOO-EEEE!' Bloody hell." (Jennifer)

Snape would never sing, basically. Not even hum

"Do you think I should get a haircut or should I grow it as long as Professor Dumbledore's?"

"The Backsteet Boys and N Sync rule!" (Sabra)

"Voldemort.... What a dork." (Shyria)

"I just washed my hair and I can't do a thing with it!" (Tammi the 'Little Pigeon')

"Oh Minerva, surely you're not going to do what I think you're going to do with that kipper? Oh, well if you insist, go on then, only warm it up first." (Rachel)

(singing and dancing on a desk in Potions, wearing top hat and tails) "You're just too good to be true... Can't take my eyes off you... I LOVE YOU HARRY, LA LA LA LA LA LAA, I LOVE YOU HARRY, LA LA LA LA LA LAAA, so let me love you Harry, let me love you Harry, let me love yoooooooooou..." (Rachel)

"My hobbies? Well, apart from the usual - you know - stamp-collecting, chicken farming, taxidermy, but I really love DJ-ing. I just got my own mixing deck for Christmas. Would you like to hear one of my mix tapes?" (Rachel)

(Chanting) "Go Westlife, go Westlife, BRIAN I LOVE YOU!" (Rachel)

"In vain I have struggled, but my feelings will not be conquered - Mr Weasley, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." (That's Mr Darcy's speech from Pride and Prejudice) (Rachel)

"You look nice today, Potter!" (Dale)

"Bloody thong wedgie!"*pulls at buttcrack* (Kelli)

"Oh, spank me harder, Gilderoy!" (Rachel)

*Sobbing brokenly* "All I ever wanted was to be l- l- loved! Why won't you love me?" (Rachel)

"Well, what I really want for Christmas is the Barbie Pony Club set, and maybe if I'm a really lucky boy, Mummy will give me the matching horse box." (Rachel)

"MANGO...MANGO...MANGO!" *sees dancing Chris Kattan in sparkly shorts* (need to watch Saturday Night Live to get that one!) (Tubeular 5)

Severus: Hello, my name is Severus Snape and I am a former Death Eater
People in Backround: Hello, Severus (Amy)

"Hello Callie, I love you! I love you!" (Callie)

"Why, Mr Potter. Why don't you have some wonderful cookies and brownies. I made them myself. (Callie)

"Hello Gryffindors! Merry Christmas." (Callie)

"Absolutly spiffing to see you, Harry! What a jolly good day it is! Fancy a game of cricket before having crumpets and tea with the boys?" (Rhian)

(In the best Austin Powers accent he can muster up) "Yeha baby, yeha!" (Lisa Marie)

Potter: Professor Snape, I'm stuck up here on this broom, how am I posta GET DOWN?
Snape: Dead Or Alive, David Bowie or My favorite James Brown (Lisa Marie)

"What a babe!" (Lisa Marie)

"How do you spell my first name?" (Lisa Marie)

"I've fallen and I cant get up!" (Lisa Marie)

"How about everyone of you kids come to my chambers and play a video game with me?" (Lisa Marie)

*in tears in his eyes* "You like me! You really like me!" (while clutching an award for Favorite Teacher) (Luece)

"Jolly good show!"

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"Don't you think the black really bring out my eyes?"

*whilst drunk* "Somebody hold my hair, I'm gonna be sick!" (Lucy)

"Are we sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin." (Lucy)

"Who wants to see my enormous... wand?" (Lucy)

*Singing and twirling* "You spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record baby, right round round round" (Dead Or Alive - You Spin Me Round) (Lisa Marie)

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Really? I would like to know..." (Lisa Marie)

"You can take this job and shove it!" (Lisa Marie)

"I admit it, I was the one that put the woopie cushion under Potter's seat. Is that so wrong?" (Lisa Marie)

"I love you Britny Spears!" (Lisa Marie)

"Yeah! The Bills rock! What do you mean, 'who are The Bills,' Draco Malfoy? Detention!" (Callie)

"You're bananas!" (Juliet)

"So you don't think a tutu looks good on me then?" (Juliet)

"I gotta go wee wee!" (Juliet)

"Here ya go, sonny!" (Juliet)

"Life is like a box of every flavor beans, ya never know what ya gonna get!" (Juliet)

"I'm a natural blond, really!" (Juliet)

"Gotcha!" (Juliet)

"What do you mean I can't wear a corset?" (Juliet)

"Whoopsy daisies!" (Juliet)

"Welcome to yet another 'how to knit my own jumpers' class!" (Juliet)

"Ah, Minerva, you wouldn't know where to get tattoos removed, would you?" (Severly Snapped)

"UP YOURS DUMBLEDORE!" (Severly Snapped)

"Guess what class, I got a bunny!" (Chrissy)

"I made love last night!" (Chrissy)

"Harry, I am gay..." (Nick)

"It's not fair! I want a Weasley jumper, too!" (Lucy)


"Toga! Toga! Toga!" (Orlack)

"Semper Fi! Do or Die!" (Orlack)

"Malfoy, put that 'Potter Stinks' pin away before I stuff down your throat." (Livia Starling)

"Hola!" (Trinity)

"Word up!" (Trinity)

"Oh, snap!" (Trinity)

"Lupin, I'd like to see you privately in my office after school today." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Class, I am gay!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Lockhart, you brighten my day!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Wand Stab, Sirius Dead!" (he would mean this) (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Minerva, you look terrific!" *wink, wink* (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"I remind myself of a goldfish." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Minerva, you dumb ass!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"I was thinking of painting the dungeons pink, it would really look nice." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"It's eleven o'clock, do you know where your students are?" (like he cares) (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"When I feel sad, I think about Lockhart in a tutu." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"I feel stupid." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Guess what class! I converted to Juddism!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"I'm the Pokémon master!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Potter, step away from the flaming cauldron!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"I am my idol." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Where the bloody hell is Britney Spears when you need her." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"I'm a slave for me." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Oh yeah, that's the spot..." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Hagrid, I can't help it, I think your hot." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Black, you might want to leave the room, I'm having bad urges." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Damn it Myrtle, that hurts!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Quirrel, I think that was so hot how you passed out in the Great Hall!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Oh my God! A spider! Kill it, kill it! NO! Stun it!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Oh Dumbledore...I didn't know you had those kind of feelings about me." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Oh Voldemort, I just love it when you say 'Avada Kedavra!'" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

(throwing money into the streets) "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Good boy, Fluffy! Go on, get the treat!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Oh Hermione, that feels good." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Awww, how sweet." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"I feel like a woman." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Here Harry, have my ice cream cone." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"POTTER! Tell me, what would you get if I came into your room tonight?!" (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Weasley, don't let out our little secret." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Oh Peeves, I like that." (Mrs. Black/Severely Snapped)

"Boom Schockaloka Boom Schokaloka!" (Sabra and Josh)

"Rubber baby buggy bumpers!" (Sabra and Josh)

"One of my hobbies is playing tidley winks!" (Sabra and Josh)

"Harry Potter, you gotta a boo boo!" *smmmaaackkkkkkkkk* "There now, I made it all better. Now, go along and play with the rest of the Gryffindors!" (Sabra and Josh)

"Anybody wanna watch Die Hard on my new DVD Player?" (Sabra and Josh)

"Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care! Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care!" (Sabra and Josh)

"Supercalalfragalisticxbaladocious!" (Sabra and Josh)

"I'm going shopping for a new pair of shoes. Anyone know where the nearest Armani Exchange is? I'm told they have good suits there, too." (Sabra and Josh)

"Happy Birthday, Harry!" (Tspitw)

"WEEEEEE!!!!" (Tspitw)

*reading to class* "I will not eat green eggs and Ham, I will not eat them Sam I am!" (Tspitw)

"I am not the weakest link!!!" (Tspitw)

"I'll take muggle studies for ten thousand, Alex!" (Tspitw)

"Come on class, let's make snow angels!" (Severely Snapped)

*punches Dumbledore in the back* "Kidney Shot!" (Tspitw)

"Pikachu I choose you!" (Tspitw)

"I'd like to buy a vowel" (Tspitw)

"Excuse me, Mr. Lockhart, can I have your autograph?" (Tspitw)

"Oh, Hagrid have you lost weight?" (Tspitw)

*With hangover, in class* "Will someone answer that damn phone?!" (Tspitw)

"Up yours, children!" (Tspitw)

"D'oh!" (Tspitw)

"No thanks, Minister, I couldn't possibly accept Order of Merlin, First Class!" (Tspitw)

"Here, Harry, here's an invitation to my birthday party" (Tspitw)

*Popping out of giant B-day Cake* "Happy Birthday Mr. Lupin!" (Tspitw)

"So the famous Harry Potter won't come to my birthday party? This Love potion will fix him! Moo Hoo Ha!" (Tspitw)

"Your Mom!" (Tspitw)

"Eurika!" (Tspitw)

"I rode the short train to school..." (Tspitw)

"My mum calls it Bloomies!" (Tspitw)

"I see London, I see France..." (Tspitw)

*Pulls Hermione's nose* "Got your nose!" (Tspitw)

"I want to join the Harry Potter Fan Club!" (Tspitw)

"Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!" (Tspitw)

"I seem to have mislabled these phials. One's poison, and the other's chicken soup... Malfoy, taste this!" (Tspitw)

"If you dress like Halloween, gouls will try to get in your pants!" (Tspitw)

(Silence in the Great Hall, Dumbledore's about to speak) "Don't you hate pants?!" (Tspitw)

"Whoa! There's an angel in my kitchen!" (Tspitw)

"When they make a movie of this, and I know they will, I don't want to be played by Woody Harolson!" (Tspitw)

"Cool beans!" (Tspitw)

"Diss" (Tspitw)

"My bad" (Tspitw)

"Not a good day to be a bad guy is it?" (Tspitw)

"Whip it whip it good! Ka-chh!" (Makes the sound of a whip) (Tspitw)

"Hugs are free!" (Tspitw)

(To Minerva) "Hey baby!" *Slaps her ass* (Tspitw)

(To Dumbledore) "Hey, Bossco!" (Tspitw)

"The last time somebody said I was pretty, they were reading a brail menue at a McDonalds..." (Tspitw)

"POTTER! Do you think you're prettier than me?" (Tspitw)

"What Potter? Voldemort tried to kill you again? That evil son of a ---!" (Tspitw)

*In The Ladies Man voice* "Yeah, that's discutin', yeah" (Tspitw)

"I'm afraid of the dark!" (Tspitw)

"What? My name is. Who? My name is. What? My name is Severus Snape!" (Tspitw)

"They call me Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid Rock!" (Tspitw)

(Licks finger, and puts it on McGonagall's shoulder) "Gee, Minerva, we better get you out of these wet robes..." [_] (Tspitw)

"I am Prince of all Saiyans, once again!" (Syn: ROF!)(Tspitw)

*Singing* "Smelly cat smelly cat, what are they feeding you?..." (Tspitw)

Minerva: Now Severus, remember what happened the last time you tried to kick your own ass?
Severus: My toe got caught in my underwear and I fell out a two story window onto a gargoyle... (Tspitw)

"Waazzuuuupp?!" (Death Chocobo)

"I see dead people" (Death Chocobo)

"Ya know what they say about men with big noses..." **wink** (Death Chocobo)

"Damn, I mixed up the instant potion mix with the jello mix!" (Death Chocobo)

"Thats ok, Neville, I could always buy a new cauldron" (Death Chocobo)

"I got toe socks for christmas!! Wahoo!!" *dances around* (Death Chocobo)

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!" (Death Chocobo)

"I'd like to join you, but I'm up to my tits in paperwork." (Kit and Cody)

"Where the HELL are my Smacks, dude?" (Kit and Cody)

"Got Milk?" (Severely Snapped)

"Alright, who took my glass of chocolate milk? It took me two whole hours to catch that stupid brown cow....." (Severely Snapped)

"Minerva, why don't you love me? Is it because of my hair? I was thinking about dyeing it pink....." (Severely Snapped)

I'm gonna bite your neck, drink your blood, throw you on a bed, rip off your clothes and... (Nick)

"Im giving up." (Stella)

"Malfoy! I have said this million times, I do not want to sleep with you!" 9Stella)

"Harry, I really liked your father. He was such a lovely fellow..." *tears in his eyes* (Stella)

"Oh no!I don`t know how to do this! Eeeeek!" (Stella)

"Yeah." (Stella)

"I liked Lily. She was my very best friend." (Stella)

"Where did I leave my Britney Spears CD?" (Stella)

"I`m just no good." (Stella)

"Merry Cristmas to you all!" (Stella)

"All we need is love, love... love is all we neeeed!" (Stella)

"I think Voldemort is a very nice guy." (Stella)

"I am still a Death Eater." (Stella)

"Eat your shorts, mr. Malfoy!" ([Kinra Snape])

"Draco! You greedy pig, I oughta shave your bald!" ([Kinra Snape])

"Oh dear, I cut myself when I shaved." ([Kinra Snape])

"Come on, Longbottom. I know you'll do it." (Not in a sarcastic way) ([Kinra Snape])

"Hey Sirius, let's drink something together. And of course, this is on me." ([Kinra Snape])

"Wow Hermione, you clever girl! You look so nice tonight!" ([Kinra Snape])

"I really love you Kinra. I want to marry you." XD ([Kinra Snape])

"Syn, get that cute butt of yours over here this instance!" (Syn: Actually, he has... I'll shut up) (Lisa Marie)

"Class. I've made a decision... I'M PAINTING THE CLASS BRIGHT YELLOW!!" (Lisa Marie)

"Yo, dude!" (Lisa Marie)

"Wazzuuuuuuup?" *tongue sticking out* (Lisa Marie and PowerLeca)

"I love you Marry Poppins!" (Lisa Marie)

"Can I borrow your playstation 2 game for the day?" (Lisa Marie)

"Does anyone know how to re-progamme Windows?" (Lisa Marie)

*Outside TRL studio's holding up sign* "Miss Spears! Would you like me to teach you Potions?!?!" (Lisa Marie)

"I wonder why Lisa Marie has not answered my 2002 letters I sent her..." (Lisa Marie)

"I wonder if I would get thrown out of school for streaking across campus..." (Lisa Marie)

"I think I need to get in touch with my feminine side..."

"Poppy, can you fix my hair like Harry's? He's my hero!"

"Run, Bambi's mum! Run! Nooo! Damn, I can't take this! I'm starting a campaign against deer hunting!"

(In Great Hall during feast) "I love you, Potter! I love you all!"

"Why doesn't anyone like me?"

"Does anyone know where my shower cap is?"

"Yes, Mr Springer, I have a story I'd like to share with your viewing audience"

"This blush really shows out my cheek bones!"

"My secret? Well, let's say every fighter starts their day off with Cheerios!"

"Sirius, I think it's time I came out of the closet. I've been attracted to you since the day we met, but with all the pressured society, I was unable to express my true feelings for fear of rejection. Instead, I channelled all my anger at society towards you. Wow, it's great to get that off my chest. Can we still have a meaningful relationship?"

"Hermione, I'm beginning to doubt my ability to... perform..."

"Why does everyone assume I hate Remus so much? People can be so cruel! They're always misunderstanding my true feelings"

*drops bar of soap* "Oops, I've drooped the soap. Now, how am I supposed to find it?"
*slips on soap* "Weeeeee!! That was fun!"

"Hi-diddly-i, Neighberoonies!"

"Oh, my God! Lily! James! What are you two doing?! Why did you leave me out?!"

"Nooo! My nails are too long!"


"Ouch! Sevvie fall down and get a boo boo!" (Severely Snapped)

"Oh Harry, what made you think I would yell at you?" (Severely Snapped)

"Malfoy! If you ever try to kill Harry again I will personally kick your ass!" (Severely Snapped)

"DON'T YOU SASS ME!" (Severely Snapped)

*singing* "HOT STUFF BABY, TONIGHT!" (WilWig)

"Hey Fishy fishy fishy Hey fishy fishy fishy!" (Emma)

"Hhjkhkhjkhhcuhdsfhdifjisjhfisfjuisfjsoifjsoifj" (well you can't say he'd say this) (Syn: LOL! I don't think anyone can say that! LOL! Clever!) (Nick)

"Would any of you sweet little children like some of my homemade cookies?" (Becky)

"Class, I'm a crossdresser!" (Becky)

"Does anyone know what channel Cartoon Network is on?" (Becky)

"Do you need help with that?" (Becky)

"Are you OK?" (Becky)

"I'm sorry, do you forgive me?" (Becky)

"Who's up for some Christmas Caroling?" (Chrissy)

"Did anyone catch last night's episode of Friends?" (Chrissy)

"Why, yes I have been working out!" (Chrissy)

*Singing* "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy all you have to do is call... Ooo look at mah sexy body!*Touches his nipple* (Moonlyte)

Snape: (To Quirrell) I Like big wands and I cannot lie, you other wizards can't deny, when a wizard walks in with a robe around his waist and a big long wand in your face you get...
Quirrell: Oh Severus, I always knew you liked my wand! (Moonlyte)

"Holy Shnikeys!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"You know class, under this desk... I'm not wearing any pants. (Syn: LMAO! I wish!) (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"Shake what your momma gave ya!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"I'm off like a prom dress!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"Has anyone seen my brush?" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"Does anybody know Brandon's (from Survivor 3) phone number??" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"Hermione, I'm a size 36A, what about you??" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"Has anyone seen my mascara?" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"Surfs up!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"Hang ten!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

*singing* "Girls just wanna have fun!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

*singing* "I'm happy, feeling glad... Got sunshine in a bag!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

*singing* "Here comes the sun, doo un doo doo!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"You know, that John Lennon guy was such a babe!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

*singing* "I don't think your ready for this... Cause my body too bootylicious for ya babe!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

*blushing* "Remus, how did you know I like daisies?" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"I'm blushing!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

*singing* "You make me feel, you make me feel like a natural woman, woman!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

*singing-happily* "We all live in a yellow submarine!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

"I'm happy today!!" (Remus_Lupin- and *~Alana Sinistra~*)

*In gay voice* "Hot damnit, this curling iron just isn't working! Every time I touch it to my locks, it sizzles as if I had bacon grease on it or something. Maybe this mousse will do the trick..." (Liz T)

"Hermione! You, me, bedroom. Now!"

"I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour... I LOVE GOD!" (Antonia)

*laugh* I totally love the way you banged me, Harry! (Nick)

"Myrtal, is there anything I can do to cheer you up?" (Lisa Marie)

"I absolutely loved the MK games but the movie kicks butt! Where can I get the soundtrack?" (Lisa Marie)

*Singing and Dancing in class* "And that makes you larger than life!" (Lisa Marie)

*Singing in the shower* "I'm never coming home again, we can't agree on anything, where the hell are all my friends? I need you right now. (The Psychedelic Furs - Wrong Train) (Lisa Marie)

*Watching a horror movie* " Not that way you ding-bat! Watch out for that tree! Ow, that has to hurt! S@#! I liked that girl, why the hell did you have to cut out her liver?. Look out behind you! Ahh man, I split My popcorn!" (Lisa Marie)

"I can kiss heaven goodbye 'cuz it has to be a sin to look this good" (Lisa Marie)

"Man, time flys like it's on a broom!" (Lisa Marie)

"Why didn't you tell me it's that late?" (Lisa Marie)

*Someone knocks on the door* Huh? Quick, get my robes and hide under there!" (Lisa Marie)

"I swear to you, that bra is mine. You don't think I had Minerva in my chamber's, do you?" (Syn: LMAO!) (Lisa Marie)

"Where can I get my tongue pierced, class?" (Lisa Marie)

"Aww, bloddy Sh#, Longbottom!" (Lisa Marie)

"I'm going to turn aroundand when I turn back, I better see my stolen rubber baby-buggy-bumper on this desk!" (Lisa Marie)

*Flipping through closet* Where the hell is my Pamala Lee poster?" (Lisa Marie)

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" (I belive that was a line from 'Gone With The Wind') (Lisa Marie)

"Lisa Marie, your late for class again. I'm going to have to ask you to follow me to my other room.... Why haven't you answered the 2002 letters I sent you?" (Lisa Marie)

"Syn, your the smartest girl I know!" (Lisa Marie)

"Syn, I'm feeling sick. Could you wear these robes and this wig, and pose as me for class today?" (Syn: LOL! Sure!) (Lisa Marie)

"Syn, you have inspired me to make my own web site!" (Syn: *bows*) (Lisa Marie)

"Syn, Lisa Marie, Clare. I know you adore me and would kiss the ground I walk on. Thank you. Now, follow Me..." *wink* (Lisa Marie)

"Take it from me. An alligator's mouth is no place for your head to be in" *Rubs neck* (Lisa Marie)

"I tell you, skunk's stink!" (Lisa Marie)

"The name's Snape. Severus Snape" (Lisa Marie)

"Now, where the hell did I place my vodka?" (Lisa Marie)

"Class, I don't know how to thank you. You've made my year a living heaven" (Lisa Marie)

"Party at my place. Get drunk, as long as you don't drive!" (Lisa Marie)

*Driving down highway in a black jaguar with the roof down, and the wind blowing in his hair, singing* "If you want to be with me, I can make your wish come true, just come to set me free, baby, and I'll be with you!" (Lisa Marie)

"Lockhart, you blonde baboon of an @$$hole!" (OK, I'm sure he thinks this) (Lisa Marie)

"That's all folks!" (Lisa Marie)

"Well, whoopty frickin doo!" (Severely Snapped)

"'Cause I live in a van down by the river!" (Severely Snapped)

"Harry! Darling! What a pleasant surprise!" (Harriet Potter)

"Malfoy, if you don't stop annoying Harry, I will pick you up, bring you to the tallest tower and throw you off it!" (Harriet Potter)

"Harry! For talking, I have no choice but to give you the detention of a lifetime *wink, wink* (Harriet Potter)

"Aaarrgghh! Spider! Oh, Harry, my precious, save me! *jumps on desk*" (Harriet Potter)

"Draco, shut up, you prat! God, you're so annoying!" (Harriet Potter)

"After a tiring day of teaching potions, I like to relax with a large glass of Guinness beer. Guinness, it's good for you. (Ben's Mate)

"Sorry, can't talk now; I'm ironing my underpants" (Lucy)

"Who's up for playing Sardines?" (Lucy)

"If Malfoy's nasty one more time I'm gonna go round his house and pee through his letterbox." (Lucy)

"I only hate all the Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers because they're all more good looking then me!" (Mrs. Black)

"Peek-a-boo!" (Mrs. Black)

"Have a Merry Christmas and drink... responsively." (Mrs. Black)

"The way I see it, even society favors Gryffindor, I mean, come on, the last two deputy headmasters/headmistresses were Gryffindors and one became Headmaster. In fact, for that matter, both were transfiguration teachers! Life is so unfair!" (Mrs. Black)

"Why does Lupin get to drink Wolfsbane potion and I don't!?" (Syn: Um... 'coz he's a werewolf...?) (Mrs. Black)

"Life is like a box of cherries, the cherries taste good, and when you get to the pits, you can still have fun 'cause you can spit them at people!" (Mrs. Black)

"I've really got to lay off the hand brewed potions." (Mrs. Black)

"I was visited by three Christmas ghosts last night!" (Mrs. Black)

"I want to personally thank the academy..." (Mrs. Black)

"I can do the splits and you can't, so HA HA!" (Mrs. Black)

"Do you know how I found out what Professor Quirrel was up to? I snuck into his room at night to spy on him and boy did I get a show, not only did he take his smelly turban off, he did a lap dance right in front of me on his desk!" (Mrs. Black)

"Lay off my cauldron, it's my only friend." (Mrs. Black)

"It was not your mistake, Potter." (Mynnia)

"All I ever wanted is to marry a nice Muggle-woman and to have two children and be a good father." (Mynnia)

"I...I am pregnant, Albus!" (Mynnia)

"Uh-Oh!" *in a big, fat yellow Teletubbie-Costume* (Syn: ROF!) (Mynnia)

"Don't tell this to my mum, please, Mr. Dumbledore!" (Mynnia)

"Please, ask me more, Syn. I'll tell you what I can" *smiles* (Mynnia)

"I'm a dreamer..." (Mynnia)

"I want a blue fairy flying around my head, too!" (Mynnia)

"Why do I do all this?" (Mynnia)

"Muggles are as human as you are, Malfoy!" (Mynnia)

"Hm, I'd like to fly around with a broomstick, too." (Mynnia)

"Should I buy the yellow or the pink roses?" (Mynnia)

"Please rip my clothes, Syn!" (Syn: Oh, baby! LOL!) (Mynnia)

"Moon Cosmic Power, make up!" (Mynnia)

"I want a Neopet!!! Now!!!" (Mynnia)

"Mr. Filch, your cat is sooo cute!" (Mynnia)

"I read this." (Mynnia)

"What a tea." (hmm, I think only Germans know the advert with Sean Connery...) (Mynnia)

"Alan Rickman, who?" (Mynnia)

"No, I don't know why I have this name..." (Mynnia)

"I think I'll change the Dark Mark into a naked woman..." (Mynnia)

"I'll tell your dad that these updates are really neccessary, Syn-chan!" (Mynnia)

"Hey, these hentai pics with me, Sirius and Remus are really great!" (Syn: Hentai - pervert) (Mynnia)

"No, I don't lock students in the dungeon..." (Mynnia)

Severus: Come here, Potter
Harry: What for?
Severus: I wanna give you a hug

"AGGGHHH! WHAT'S THAT ON MY FACE?! Oh, it's my nose"

"Wow! My hair's not the only place greasy!"

Severus: Is my underwear showing?
You: No
Severus: Do you want them to?

Severus: Do you sleep on your stomach?
You: No
Severus: Can I?

Save the whales! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Professor McGonagall! Why are you wearing my thong? No one wants to see your wrinkled old ass! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Severus:*knocks on Sirius Black's door* Um, my bed broke, can I sleep in yours?
Sirius: How did it break?
Severus:*coughs* um...Hagrid? (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Shampoo? What shampoo? I don't understand this foreign language. (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

DOH! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Oh, Lupin! Not on my new hot pink carpet! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Oh no! I have to get braces! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Weasley! How did you know it was me in your chambers last night? (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Good job Neville, A+, you have passed your potions class. Because that makes no sense at all, I'm going to proceed to put my hands around your neck and tighten them until you cease to move! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Did you know my real name is Butch? (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

I'm going to start a Harry Potter fan club for all the little children... (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Look at the cute little pony, I can't wait to eat it! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Owls come from windows! Didn't you know that, you silly ass?! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Oh my god... Here come the consequences of getting drunk... (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

I can pick bogies out of my ears, or my over large nose and belly button! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

I got a 'Me' (Snape) flavored Bertie Botts Bean once! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

*watching T.V.* No! Pikachu, you ass! Electricute him god damn it! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Dumbledore! I want the day off today! (throwing a hissy fit). (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

*throws himself to the ground* I tripped! (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Hey Michael Jackson! If we combine my huge nose with your teeny one, we'll have normal sized ones. (Mrs. Black and Severely Snapped)

Harry, I want to tell you something in my office... *wink* (Harriet Potter)

*to Draco* No, don't stop. I like it when you call me Professor! (Sherbet Lemon)

*hiding under the covers* "I.....see......Griffindor students! (Severely Snapped)

"Good God Malfoy, I haven't seen hair that greasy since I looked at myself in the mirror this morning!" (Severely Snapped)

*drops wand into cauldron* "AH! No, you ate Wanda!" (Severely Snapped)

*singing and dressed as a cop* "Ma-cho, ma-cho man... You gotta be a ma-choooo maan!" (Mad Guida Meridius)

"Minerva, are you a swallower or a spitter?" *wink, wink* (Mad Guida Meridius)

"Class... I am a woman!" (Mad Guida Meridius)

"I'm in love with a 6 foot tall sailor, named Steven." (Mad Guida Meridius)

"Argh! I hurt my butt bone!" (Syn: I've actually said that...)

"Just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down...." (Laura Valentine)

"Hey! Where the party at?" (Chomy)

"Sweet!" (Gail)

"Come here, Miss Granger, and give us a kiss!" (Gail)

"Gail, will you make out with me?" (Gail)

"Class, I've got some bad news. Slytherin are winning the house cup!!!!" *sobs into robes* (Harriet Potter)

"Oh, Hermione! You're so clever!! Please, tell me what you know about Love Potions!!!!" (Harriet)

"Why, Syn! You look amazing! And Lisa Marie! You have got to tell me where you got your hair done, darling!!" (Harriet)

*on phone* "Whaddya mean I can't do a duet with Rod Stewart?! Can't I talk to him about it? Oh, come on! Pretty please!?!" (Harriet)

"Potter! Don't go!! *sobs* Take me home with you!!!" *grabs Harry's leg* (Harriet and Blabbermouth)

"Now, one at a time girls. I'm gonna let you come into my chambers. Harriet, you first, then Syn, you sexy thing..." (Harriet)

"Hermione, how you doin'?" (Sakura)

"I want a Happy Meal!" (Sakura)

"I can't believe its not butter!" (RedChocobo)

"Zuh?" (RedChocobo)

"Yes, you may braid my hair" (RedChocobo)

"Whatever" (RedChocobo)

"I'm in serious need of help" (Rachael)

(in class) "It's such a wonderful day! What are we doing inside the dungeons?! Last one outside is a rotten egg!" (Snape's Dog)

*looks into the mirror* "Gosh, I'm far too pale! I should go out into the sun more often!" (Snape's Dog)

"You! My chambers at 10:30. You! 10:45... and bring a friend." (Catswan)

"I love you, Hagrid." (Cute Loser)

[Minerva:] Severus... are you.. ok..?
[Snape:] I love you, you love me, we're a happy family!
[Minerva:] *shrill scream* GET MADAM POMFREY!... He's the second victim this week.... (Severus' Angel)

"Potter, I'd love to, but I have my bikini photo shoot this weekend" (Callisto)

"Why yes Gilderoy, Pajama Party on Saturday sounds fine" (Callisto)

*jumping around the dungeons on a pogo stick* ME WANT CANDY!!!! (Siriusly Black)

I'm sorry. I mean it. (Siriusly Black)

[Sirius Black:] Sorry I tried to kill you
[Severus Snape:] Apology accepted (
Siriusly Black)

I like eggs! (Siriusly Black)

Hello, welcome to Deatheaters anonymous (Siriusly Black)

(at a DeathEaters Anonymous Meeting):
[Snape:] Uh, my name is Severus and I'm a DeathEater.
[Deatheaters:] Hi Severus! (

"Welcome to Sex Education." (Cristy)

::impatiently:: "No, Dumbledore. *sighs* I did not pinch your @$$..." (Cristy)

"Yes, yes, I understand, Mr. Potter. You couldn't help it if Sirius Black transfigured into a dog and ate your homework." (Miss Trishka)

"No, Albus, I don't care how much money you offer me, I don't want the d*****d DADA job!" (Miss Trishka)

"Hey, look! If you use soap and water this Death Mark comes right off!" (Miss Trishka)

"Hey, Hagrid, wanna go down to Hogsmeade and cruise for chicks?" (Miss Trishka)

"Mr. Rickman, could I have your autograph?" (Miss Trishka)

"Don't feel bad, Mr. Longbottom, you should have seem some of the explosions I caused in my first couple of years." (Lhailu)

"Lockhart, will you help me put my make-up on?" (Caese)

"Alright! Who put honey in my shampoo?!" (Caese)

"Too skinny? Oh Harry, how could I ever think that about you?" (Sirius Blackout)

"If you've met one Weasley, you must meet them all!" (Sirius Blackout)

(Watching Titanic) *sniff* "Oh God.." *sob* "that is so damn sad!" (Sirius Blackout)

"See, I'm only gay depending on how you look at it. Lupin, would you like to come and help me decide if I'm gay?" (Sirius Blackout)

"Okay Sirius, let's forgive and forget. I apologize for trying to kill you, trying to send you to jail, trying to have sexual relations with you, trying to..." (Sirius Blackout)

"Naked? Embarrassing, and awesome, Remus Lupin, what?" (Sirius Blackout)

"Hermione, if you eat that piece of toast, I will never forgive you." (Sirius Blackout)

"Ooh! I want that piece of cheese cake with the label that says '101% saturated fat'!" (Sirius Blackout)

"Okay, I admit it, I was stoned and wandered over to that girls house. What was her name? Meg? Whatever, the point is, I never tried to kill her pet hobbit, Chunky. I swear! I wasn't that stoned!" (Sirius Blackout)

"L, is for the way you look at me, O is for..." (Sirius Blackout)

"I feel emotionally traumitized right now. Harry, can I have a bear hug?" (Sirius Blackout)

*sobbing hysterically in his office late at night* "Oh Cedric! Why? Why did the bastard have to take you first?!" *bangs head on his desk until he's unconscious* (Sirius Blackout)

"I swear I never ate that baby deer." (Sirius Blackout)

"McGonagall! You never told me you and Binns were goin' at it. What's that? 'Shut up he's right there?' What does that mean? Oh...OH! I getcha ya. You want me to shut up cause" *McGongall slaps him hard* (Sirius Blackout)

"I feel so alone! Why does no one like me?!" (Sirius Blackout)

*Watching the Teletubbies* "Oh my gawd, this show rocks!"

"What! I can't believe Mr. Roger's Neighborhood was cancelled!"

"Hey, I think that fish just said my name!"

*To the class* "Heads down on desks, teachers got a hangover"

"Alright, Sirius, alright, I forgive you! Just STOP LICKING MY FACE!!!"

"You, my room, 10:30 tonight! You, 10:45... and bring a friend!" (Julischka)

"I´m pissed off is what I am!" (answering an intimidated first year that asked "...w..wwhat..a..a...aare..y..y..yyou...?") (Julischka)

"Shut up, you twit!" (to a chattering Draco) (Julischka)

"It´s urgent...there´s a flood in the dungeons! And I want YOU to mop up...NOW!...oh c´mon...pleeease?!" (Julischka)

"Hermione, you´re amazing, you figured this all out already...!" *admiringly during potions* (Julischka)

"Wax on...wax off!" *fidgeting on his injured leg* (Julischka)

(with tears in his eyes) God loves... me??

All right, you Muggle-borns! I've heard the whispers, I've heard the giggles. Now, no one is leaving this room until one of you tells me, WHO THE HELL IS LORD BYRON?!?

You go, girl!

"Who saw survivor last night??" (Megan and Cristy)

"Can I get a whoop whoop??" (Megan and Cristy)

"This one time, at band camp..." (Rachel)

"Don't wanna be a fool for you, just another playa in your game for two, you may hate me but it ain't no lie, baby bye, bye, bye..." (Rachel)

"Potter, it is your dest-iny." (Rachel)

"I wish I lived on Dawson's Creek!" (Rachel)

"I'm king of the world!!" (Rachel)

"Don't playa hate." (Rachel)

"Whoomp, there it is" (Rachel)

"Well...duh" (Rhashel)

"I am not worthy!!!" (Rhashel)

Rita Skeeter: So tell me about Harry Potter.
Snape: "Well... he's funny! Got a great sense of humor!" (Rhashel)

"Peachy!" (Rhashel)

"Stay peachy, but don't be a fruit." (Rhashel)

(singing ) "I'm so pretty, and happy and GAY!!!" (Rhashel)

Snape: Looky! Looky! COCONUTS!!!!
Rhashel: No... those are pinecones...
Snape: No... CO-CO-NUTS! (Rhashel)


"Severus, it's time for your bath."
Snape: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(breath)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo(passes out from lack of oxygen) (Rhashel)

"Shibby..." (Rhashel)

"SHUKAH!!!!" (Rhashel)

"Ah... fizzle sticks." (Rhashel)

"...cause seriously, you need to stop being so poor or else I'm gonna start huckin' rock atcha." (Rhashel)

*screaming* "WHAT IF! WHAT IF! WHAT IF I?!!"

"I happen to like The Powerpuff Girls, thank u very much!"

"Okay Barbie, it's time to get into your pink convertible to meet Ken."

*singing* "Happy, happy, joy, joy..."

*making droning noises* "The TV... I've been hypnotized by the TV..."

"Let's go to Disney World!"


*To the class* "Ok, it's time for a song." *Starts singing Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me.* (if you've heared that song, you'll know how funny this actually is.) (Sera Fern Arazon aka Nick)

(Sitting in a smoke filled room, empty bottles all over the floor, a stoned out look on his face, snapping fingers off beat, singing in a lousy jamacian accent) "'Ere's a little song I wrote. 'Ope you sing it note for note; Don't worry......Be happy....." (Rhashel (Severus' one and only))

"You're free cheesy bread! Free!! Go! Go!" (Rhashel (Severus' one and only))

"Run Bambi! Run! Run for your LIFE!!!!!" (Rhashel (Severus' one and only))

(power beads rattling on wrist) "self-control not working......" (Rhashel (Severus' one and only))

"Shnubby-kins" (Rhashel (Severus' one and only))

"Quick! You go that way, You go around the back, and I'll run in a circle, pull my hair and scream like a girl!" (Rhashel (Severus' one and only))

"Who woulda thunk?" (andrelczyks)

*In a panic* "Oh my gawd! Who used all the whipped cream...?!" (andrelczyks)

Severus: Aggghhh!! Who's that?!
You: That's your reflection, you sad git!
Severus: Oh, that's right... (andrelczyks)

"You can’t hurry love, you just have to wait....she said love don’t come’s a game of give and take...." (woodstockmead)

"Because I got high....because I got high....because I got high...lalalalalalalalalala" (woodstockmead)

"Okay kids, I’ve asked Professor Sprout and she was glad to lend us some Chia pets..." (woodstockmead)

*to Harry* "Wonderboy... what is the secret to your power?" (woodstockmead)

"What’s love got to do with it?" (woodstockmead)

"Shake it fast, watch yourself, shake it fast, show me what you’re working with" (woodstockmead)

"This is not a bathroom, it is a urination station..*blinx* I think I’m stoned" (woodstockmead)

"You got your problems, I got my ass wipe, you got your big cheese, I got my hash pipe" (woodstockmead)

"The truth is really out there, somewhere..." (woodstockmead)

"Alright! Who stole my Pokémon cards?" (woodstockmead)

"JENGA! JENGA! JENGA!" (woodstockmead)

"My furbie is better than yours!" *Sticks out tongue* (woodstockmead)

"Draco, suck it up and be a man about your failing grades!" (woodstockmead)

"Romeo, oh Romeo...where for art thou Romeo?" (woodstockmead)

"I invented the Internet" (woodstockmead)

"Oh Potter, I never knew some chick was writing books about you. Now I want copies" (woodstockmead)

"What if the hokey-pokie really is what it's all about?" (woodstockmead)

"Catch me Lucky Charms, they’re magically delicious." (woodstockmead)

*Kisses Lupin* "Screwy, ain’t it?" (woodstockmead)

"Where’d my Marvel Comics get off to?" (woodstockmead)

"Don’t say you love don’t even know me..if you really want me then give me some time" *plays guitar* (woodstockmead)

"If I could be like that, I’d give anything, just to live one day in those shoes..." (woodstockmead)

"These five words in my head scream are we having fun yet?" (woodstockmead)

"Fire at will... wait who in the world is Will?" (woodstockmead)

"Do you like my sheepie jammies?" (woodstockmead)

"No mommy..don’t do it again..I’ll be a good boy...I’ll be a good boy..." (woodstockmead)

"I ain’t happy...I’m feeling glad...I got sunshine in a bag..I’m useless but not for future is coming on....." (woodstockmead)

"It slices, it dices, it cuts chili and fries!!!" (woodstockmead)

"Nanonanonanonanonanonananonano, Death Eater!" (woodstockmead)

"Let me see that thong...." (woodstockmead)

*wearing leather pants and net shirt* "Do you think this makes me look fat?" (woodstockmead)

"American woman...get away from me...American woman...mama can’t you see" (woodstockmead)

"Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? Well you shoved it in my face. Can you explain again to me?" (woodstockmead)

"Ooo I love the way you love me...." (woodstockmead)

ET: Eliot!
Snape: No, that's Severus!
Snape: SEVERUS!!!!!
ET: Eliot! Snape: ARGH! (woodstockmead)

"Underneath your clothes, there’s an endless story. There’s the man I chose, there’s my territory..." (woodstockmead)

"48 bottles of beer on the wall..." (Delilah)

*singing* "I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" (Delilah)

*singing* "My boy lollipop! Nah, that's not working..." *thinks and sings again* "L is for the way you look..." (Delilah)

"Where is my black, silky boxers?" (Delilah)

*gets increasingly weepy* "You don’t think I look good in pigtails? What about that mohawk I had last week? Not that either? And the braids, what about the braids?" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

*sings* "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"I am the vampire Lestat." (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"Lassie, oh no! Harry fell in the well?! I’m coming Lassie!!!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

*sings* "I have a lovely bunch of coconuts. Here they are standing in the road. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

*sings to the tune of the Monty Python lumberjack song* "I’m the potions master and I’m ok! I sleep all night and I work all day! I’m the potions master and I’m ok, and I dress in women’s clothing!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"Awww, aren’t you a cute wittow fuzzy bunny wabbit? Oh, yea your’wa cutie!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"Help! I’m a fish!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"No, I didn’t eat that bunny. I’m a vegan, damnit! And it was so cute!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"What if?!! What if?!! What if my aunt had a mustache?!! Then she would be my uncle!!!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"Let's all do the Lindenburg Hop!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"Mr. Potter, what is the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody asks to see them?" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"Now, in Muggle physics there is this little thing called equilibrium. When two libriums weigh teh same, they are equilibrium." (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

Severus: I'm sensitive! I'm so sensitive that I have to brush my teeth with a special toothpaste so they won't hurt when I eat ice cream!
Harry: Uhm... you brush your teeth?
Severus: Quiet you. (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

*makes Vulcan sign* "Live long and prosper." (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"Noooo!!! I love you Victoria! Don’t leave me!!!!!" (Padfoot SB A.K.A. Victoria)

"I'm gonna go and look at some fish"

"Now where's the whipped cream and strawberries?" (Snake Gurl)

"Stephanie. Stepha-elbow" (My Shop teacher did this) (Snake Gurl)
"Little girls get me excited." (Snake Gurl)
*In a SUV with Lucius and Rosier* "WOOOO! GO SERPENTS!" *moons some teenage girls as they pass* (Snake Gurl)

"Damn it, Minerva, stop rubbing around my ankles and purring!" (lhailu)

"I'm a pretty, pretty princess!" (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"Oh wow, this place is a drag! I could show you some Feng Shui..." (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"I'm sorry, but I thought this was the The Lord of the Rings casting call..." (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"Of course I'll come to your kegger!" (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"Actually, class, I have no idea what this lesson is on!" (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

*giggles* "There sure is a lot of dust floating around in here!" (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"I never had relations with that student..." (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"I'm a lot like Drath Vader, if you think about it." (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"Oooh! Break me off a piece of that!" (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"When ever I go into a panic attack, I like to hide in a sideboard...(This is reference to Frodo's insanity attacks in Bagenders...) (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"Now, just let go of your anger..." (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"I charge by the hour." (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"You want me to bang you? Well why the hell not?" (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"Use the Schwartz!" (Spaceballs anyone?) (Melanie - The Annoying Little Evil Writer Girl (TALEWG))

"Salad... the other white meat." (Rhashel Black)

"I'm feeling a little farklempt." (Rhashel Black)

"C'mon! Get down with the sickness!" (Rhashel Black)

"The kombucha mushroom people are coming!!! GOD SAVE US ALL!!!!" (Rhashel Black)

"I so pretty..." (Rhashel Black)

"Oooooooh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!! Absorbent and yellow and porous is he? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS !! If nautical nonsense be something ye wish... SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!! Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS,SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOOOOOOOOOB SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS! yeah!" (Rhashel Black)

"I saw a squirrel! He was going like dis..." (imitating squirrel eating a nut) (Rhashel Black)

"Can I borrow your lipstick, Gilderoy?" (Starling)

"Today, children, I don't fancy making potions, we'll be making popcorn instead!" (Starling)

*looks in desk* "Hey, who ate all my jellybabies?!" (Starling)

"Draco, I know I can say this to you, being the head of your House ... Blonde so doesn't suit you, ever considered dyeing your hair black?" (Starling)

*throws stick* "Fetch, Fluffy!" (Starling)

"Now, was it the green potion first or the red potion first ... oh well ..." *KABOOM* (Starling)

"Forget the lesson, the sun is out, we're going for a PIC NIC! I'll bring the sausages." (Starling)

"Hermione, stop writing 'I love Severus' all over your desk and get back to work." (Starling)

"Damn! My butt itches. I need some itching cream" (Jamie G)

*holding up a pair or boxers and briefs* "Class, what do you think, Boxers or Briefs?" (Jamie G)

"Harry, you were always my favorite student. Malfoy was such a loud-mouth..." (Jamie G)

"Can't We All Just Get A Bong?" (Amara)

"My nose is plugged." (Jamie G)

*starts singing and dancing* "I like Hermoine's butt and I cannot lie, you other professors can't deny...." (Jamie G)

"Class what would you do if i lifted up my... robes?" (Jamie G)

"Harry, would you help me pick my wedgie?" (Jamie G)

"What is this 'shower'?" (Jamie G)

"50 points from Slytherin. Per person." (Jamie G)

"I`m not gay, but my boyfriend Remus is!" (Eva)

(singing)"I'm not a girl, not yet a woman..." (Eva)

*drool!* (Eva)

"Now of course I don't hate you, Sirius. I just really enjoy throwing knives at you." (Eva)

(at the toilet) "To pee or not to pee?" (Eva)

"I hate black." (Aefiandtom)

"Potter , your father was my bestest friend in the whole world and I want to be your friend, too." (Aefiandtom)

"I want to become a monk." (Aefiandtom)

"Gerbils are so cute" (Aefiandtom)

"I love children and I want to have ten of my very own!" (Aefiandtom)

"Get your coat, love, you've pulled." (Aefiandtom)

"Gilderoy, I can't deny my feelings for you any more..." (Aefiandtom)

"I don't want to be the Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher, I'm perfectly happy as I am." (Aefiandtom)

"I love pink marshmallows" (Aefiandtom)

"Eat football, sleep football, drink Coca-Cola." (Aefiandtom)

"Draco, you are an annoying little $*!&" (Aefiandtom)

"I wanted to be a hairdresser, really, but my parents pushed me into teaching." (Aefiandtom)

"Beige is the new black." (Aefiandtom)

"Why does everybody hate me?" (Aefiandtom)

*to potions class* "As it's nearly Christmas, I thought we'd have a nice sing-along. Everybody ready?" *starts singing* "We wish you a merry Christmas..!" (Aefiandtom)

"Harry, you're so good at flying. Can you give me a few tips?" (Aefiandtom)

"I want to be on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'" (Aefiandtom)

"Do you think I need to lose some weight?" *slaps belly, which wobbles* (Aefiandtom)

"Slipknot are my favourite band!" (Aefiandtom)

"I love waving my wand. I've even given it a name." (Aefiandtom)

"That's alright, Longbottom, I've got plenty more cauldrons." (Aefiandtom)

"Certainly, Miss Granger, give Longbottom all the help that he needs." (Aefiandtom)

"I've converted to Buddism and I'm moving to Tibet." (Aefiandtom)

"I love you all! You're all wonderful! *sniffs tearfully* (Aefiandtom)

"Hey, my Uncle Maybelle and Aunt Bob are coming for Christmas!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"I think I'll be a goth!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Everybody have fun tonight!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Relax, don't do it!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"We don't need no education! We don't need no thought control! A dark sarcasm in the classroom! Teacher leave them kids alone!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Do you like Johnny Depp? I do!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"I knew those Tim Burton drugs were a hazard! Look! I've got three *cough*!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Look! There's an arm growing out of my Dark Mark!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

Snape: (Lifts up robes) look what happened to my-
McGonagall: Severus NO! (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Hagrid, how big is your..." (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Sirius are you neutered yet...?" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Dumbledore, all that facial hair is so rugged! Ooh!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Minerva, get the shot gun quick! Harry's at it with that damn book again!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"I think I'm growing another ear!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"Dumbledore quick! Help me! There's a big black dog trying to get into my pants!" (Sirius and Severely Snapped)

"The name's Severus, but you can call me Sev." (Nyx)

"If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?" (Nyx)

*to class* "Put yo hands in the air, wave 'em like you just don't care! Everybody say 'He-ey!' Everybody say 'Ho-o!'" (mi_hisle)

"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Harry stole the cookie from the cookie jar!" (mi_hisle)

*Italian accent* "Now that'sa spic-ey meat-a-ball!" (mi_hisle)

"This is your brain, this is your brain on potions." (mi_hisle)

"Do you have any magic in you? Would you like some?" (mi_hisle)

"I piddy da foo!" (mi_hisle)

"Hey Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" *owl stares back* (mi_hisle)

*sings* "You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out, you put your left foot in and you shake it all about! You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!" (mi_hisle)

"I like Purple!" (Rhashel Black)

(whining) "I've got frizzies..." (Rhashel Black)

"Great big giant green canaries!" (Rhashel Black)

"Dude... where's my car?" (Rhashel Black)

"Have you seen my continuum transfunctioner?" (Rhashel Black)

"Good Lord! Do you drench everyone who enteres yor room with flame retardent chemicals? No wonder your still single!" (Rhashel Black)

*Drunker than a skunk* Hey babe! *Wolf whistle* You look cool. I gotta room in this here hotel, maybe you'd like to join me in a bubble bath? *druken wink*
McGonnagall: Severus? (Lisa Marie)

"Harry, I'd like to give your the Best Potions Student Of The Year Award " *shoves a big trophy in his face* (Lisa Marie)


Snape: *After class* Syn, Lisa Marie, come here *Cross' arms*
Both girls: Yes Professor? *Fear of getting detention*
Snape: *Sweet smile* What would you two say to a swim in the lake with me? Skinny Dipping, of course (Lisa Marie)

Snape:Lisa Marie, You're wonderful. Beautiful. A goddess, even. You know how I feel about you, so why haven't you answered my 2, 001 letters I have written to you? Are you trying to break my heart?
Lisa Marie: No, not at all. I'm still working on the 1, 089th one you sent me. (Lisa Marie)

"Syn, I love you. Let's run away together! We could live on a beach and you could wear a bikini, and I a speedo" (Lisa Marie)

"You're the one for me, your my ecstasy, you're the one I neeeeeeeeed!" (Lisa Marie)

"Naa.... Whats up doc?" *munchs carrot* (Lisa Marie)

Snape: I am Comander Lutenet Data
Data: No, I am
Snape: NO, I AM!
Data: I'm Data. See? *Shows Posatronic brain*
Snape: I got a beter model than that *Shows SuperPosatronic brain*
Snape: Well, not every model can be perfect
Data: *Growl*
Snape: They should have progamed you not to mess with Severus Snape (Lisa Marie)

"Well? Why aren't you all taking that down?! WITH THE PINK QUILLS, YOU IDIOTS!" (Lisa Marie)

Snape: Clearly, fame isn't everything. What a pity
Potter: Clearly, Hermonie knows. Pitty you dont ask her
Snape: Ok then. Hermione? (Lisa Marie)

"Careful. People may start to think your...*Harry gives him a mean look* Up to something..... Like pranceing around here blasting every Snape fan you find." (Lisa Marie)

"I want to be like that Ozzy guy and bite heads off of bats. That woud be so cool!" (Jamie)

"Harry, Hermione, le'ts all hold hands and skip down the Great Hall!" (Jamie)

"Okay, who put this dirty sock in my cauldron?!" (Jamie)

Jamie: I love you Professor
Snape: O_o (Jamie)

"Oh my God, Harry! A spider jumped on my head! Arghh, get off it off! (Harry flicks the spider off Snape's head) IKY, IKY, SPIDERS!" *shudders* (Jamie)

*Snape trying to get McGonagall's attention* "Did I mention that my nose was on fire? That I have fifteen wild badgers living in my trousers? I'm sorry, would you prefer ferrets?" (Jezebelle)

McGonagall: You're having delusions of grandeur again, Severus (Jezebelle)
Snape: Well, if you're gonna have delusions, you may as well go for the really satisfying ones. (Jezebelle)

*singing and doing air-guitar* "Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in cage..." (Jezebelle)

*to a pimp* "So how many hos and bitches do you have?" (Leisia)

*pimp voice* Yeah I got two ladies waiting in the dungeons.... (Leisia)

"Harry, I hate your father because he turned my hair green." (Leisia)

"Hey Leisia, how about you come sit on my lap? You too, Syn. There's room enough for the both of you." *wink wink* (Leisia)

"This one time, at wizard camp, I stuck a wand up my..." (Leisia)

"This year I'm being Santa Claus for Christmas! How about you come sit on my lap for practice, Harry, eh?" *winks* (Leisia)

"Oh Harry! At James' bachelor party, this one stripper and me..." (Leisia)

"Potter! I'm giving you an 'A'!" (Leisia)

"Oh geez, I ran out of 'Good Job!' stickers!" (Leisia)

"Gosh, all gumdrops!" (Leisia)

"A, b, c, d, e, f, g, gummy bears are cashing me! One is red, one is blue one just stole my f***ing shoe..." (Mary)

"Lupin, when the next full moon comes around, drop me a line" *wink* (Rkiwiruckust)

"Hermione, love, I must tell you; I've loved you (and had the occational fantasy about...) you since the first day you raised your hand in my class." (Rkiwiruckust)

*Snape looking in he mirror in the morning* "Severus, you sexy thang, you!" *Kisses himself in the mirror* (Rkiwiruckust)

"You know, underneath all of this black, is white." (Rkiwiruckust)

"I'm a poor, tortured soul." (Rkiwiruckust)

"Muggles have the coolest things! I wanna be a Muggle! No more foolish magic crap!" (Rkiwiruckust)

"Sirius! You dawg!" (Rkiwiruckust)

"Yo' mama is so..." (Rkiwiruckust)

*broken up sobs* "But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theatre, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony, and then, then I made a noise like this. (Acts like he is throwing up) Huagh. Huagh. Huagh. Huaaah! And, and then I dumped it over the side on all the people in the audience. Then, th-then, then - this was horrible - all the people started getting sick, and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life." (Babs)

*sits at the table with the other teachers in the hall during breakfast. Looks angrily at McGonagall* "Hey!! Leggo my eggo!" (Terra)

"I'm a sweet transvestite... from transsexual... Transylvania." (Terra)

*looks confused* "Lemon Curry?" (Terra)

"I lost another loan to Ditech!!" *cries* (Terra)

"Class... I'm leaving you to and this bloody school to join the Spice Girls!" (Terra)

"Has anyone seen my blankie? I can't sleep without it!" (Terra)

*sings while drunk* "Mashed potatoes hey sweet potatoes, baked potatoes potato chips! Woh! Smoked Sausage... Frrriiiied chicken.... Pepperoni pizza... Tenderloin Tips. Nobody makes a donut do the things you do. Believe me baby believe me baby... I've triiiiied quite a few... I've eaten meatballs in Sweden... and Porkchops in Peru... But all it did... all it did... all it did was remind me of you baby... and your mashed potatoes... sweet potatoes.... oh baby... pass the butter. (Terra)

*sings in a pickle suit* "Iiii'm a cucumber! Iiii'm a cucumber! Iiii'm a cucumber! Iiii'm a cucumber! Iii'm a cucumber! Please don't take me to the pickle farm... yeah!!" (Terra)

*looks at Dumbledore who is flirting with him from across the room* "On second thought... Voldemort just come and kill me now... put an end to my bloody misery!" (Terra)

*In the shower while kids are raising their eyebrows and walking quickly by* "Ohh yess!! Ohh yess! Ohh YES YESS YESS!!!" *comes out shaking his hair with a group of kids staring at him* "One word about this and you'll be serving detention for the rest of your time here!" (Terra)

*looks at McGonagal* "Do I make you horny baby?" *in Austin Power's voice* (Terra)

*holding favorite teacher award* "You like me! You really like me! *takes out machine gun* YOU MUST LIKE ME!! (Free2bdivine3)

I wanna talk to the ladies, tonight, about a situation I'm pretty sure you all can relate to. Trust me (PMS). (Free2bdivine3)

(a la Ozzy Osborne) "I love you all, I love you more than life itself. But you're all f***ing mad!" (Alan Snapeman)

"My bologna has a first name. It's OSCAR! My bologna has a second name. It's MEYER!" (IXI Severus IXI)

"Shampoo? Is that something you eat?" (Tanja)

"Harry! Nice to meet you!" (Tanja)

"It was meant as a joke." (Tanja)

"Live fast, love hard, die young!" (Tanja)

"Oh Gilderoy, you look haggard... I'll run you a bath!" (Tanja)

"Okay, but just to please you." (Tanja)

"Minerva, can you put some cream on my back, please?" (Tanja)

*sniff* "I tryed to give her a french kiss and she ran away as fast as she could..." *start crying* (Tanja)

"I want to run my own life, Mom!" (Tanja)

"Syn...! Ooh...! That's just not done...!" (Tanja)

"Go on! It's a dare! Let's undress and jump into the lake...!" *cheerful to Harry* (Tanja)

"Thank God it's Friday! Partytime!" (Tanja)

"Whoohoohahahahaha... I have a laughing fit! Hahahahaha..." (Tanja)

"No, it's not my wand, I'm just glad to see you!" *to Syn* (Tanja)

"No, I did not correct your homework yet... I can't perform miracles!" (Tanja)

"Haha... How can one be serious in such a case?" (Tanja)

"Hm... I think I'll buy some lava lamps..." *critically looking round in his dungeon* (Tanja)

"That's not a Fluffy bite. That's an oversized hickey... really... ask Alanna." (Professor Alanna de L'arrow)

Snape: I think I need a pet in the classroom
Alanna: *points her wand at Severus* Usagibuny!
Snape: *as a small white rabbit* Woman, what have you done to me?!
Alanna: Made you a pet *smirk*
Snape: *wiggling his nose* ...I'm so soft and fluffy...
(Professor Alanna de L'arrow)

Shepard (my brother): Hi, Mister Snape!
Snape: Who the hell are you?!
Shepard: I am GOD!!
Snape: AGHH! I swear, I've never sinned in my life! Except that one time I tried to kill Dumbledore... but that's it! *Shepard is scared* (Emily M.)

"Oh Sirius! I can't deny my feelings for you any longer! I... I love you!!" (Lady Padfoot)

"Why, Hermione, I never would have guessed!" (Lady Padfoot)

::on the phone:: Hello,Dominos? Yes, I would like a medium pizza with PMS ::snickers:: (pepperoni, mushrooms, and sausage) ^_^ (Lady Padfoot)

"Give me a hug, Harry!!" (Lady Padfoot)

"Remus J. Lupin is my bestest friend in the whole wide world!!" (Lady Padfoot)

"I'm in love with Petunia Dursley. She's so pretty" ::blushes and sighs:: (Lady Padfoot)

"I see dumb people. They're everywhere.They don't even know they're dumb..." (Lady Padfoot)

"Oh, Lady Padfoot! Where did you get that purse from?!" (Lady Padfoot)

::singing:: "I'm a little teapot,short and stout.This is my handle and here is my spout..." (Lady Padfoot)

"I want a bigger lolly!!" ^_^ (Lady Padfoot)

"Class! I am pleased to announce that I will be teaching sex-ed!" (Kellie)

"I think I'm gonna model for Seventeen magazine as the IT Girl!" (Kellie)

"Who stole my Powerpuff Girls lunch box?!" (Kellie)

"If you're happy and you know it, give me a kiss!" (Kellie)

"I'm a Cabbage Patch Kid... I came from a vegetable patch!" (Kellie)

"Oompa loompa oompity doo. I've got another puzzle for you." *wink, wink* (Kellie)

(watching the Lion King and singing along) "Hakunah Matauta! What a wonderful phrase!" (Kellie)

(watching The Lion King and singing along for the 6000th time) "Oh, can you feel the love tonight?" *wink* (Kellie)

"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart!" (Kellie)

Snape: Do you know the Muffin Man?
Minerva: The Muffin Man?
Snape: The Muffin Man
Minerva: Yes, I know the Muffin Man... who lives on Drury Lane?
Snape: Yes, well... I'm married to the Muffin Man
Minerva: The Muffin Man?
Snape: THE MUFFIN MAN! (Kellie)

"Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner!" (Kellie)

"Hit me, Hermione, one more time!" (Kellie)

(Snape & Ron at the movies watching Star Wars episode II)
Ron: Oh, that Amidela girl is HOT!
Snape: No, I really think that Anakin Skywalker has a sexy ass! And I LOVE what he's done to his hair! (Kellie)

"I can't get no satisfaction!" *wink* (Kellie)

Snape: Hey, Harry! Wanna be my e-bud?
Harry: Oh sure Severus! That'd be LOADS of fun! (Kellie)

"Would you like a sucker?" (Becky)

"Okay, class, no more potions! We're going to Disneyland!" (Becky)

(after coming into class slurping a bottle of ale) "Hic! I'd slay a dragon, hic! For just one flagon, hic hic! Of good old of red current wiiiiiiiiiiiine!" (Becky)

"Now now Poppy, in front of the students and all?" (Becky)

"Malfoy, is that very fair to Potter?" (Becky)

(comes in with a basket ball under his arm) "Potter! What do you say you and me shoot some hoops after class?" (Becky)

"Let's meditate." (Becky)

(comes into class with a stuffed pink bunny and a treasure chest) "Class, today I'd like you to meet my pet bunny fluffy." (opens the tresure chest) "And if you finish early you can play with my Hello Kitty collection." (Becky)

"Bloody hell, I'm out of milk... and I'm not done eating!" (Professor Alanna de Larrow)

(singing as he walks to class) "...and I will always love yoooooou!" *he steps into class and glares menacingly at the students* "You heard nothing!" (Professor Alanna de Larrow)

"Quick! Someone find a female giant three-headed dog for Fluffy! Wait, nevermind. There's no hurry, Lockhart's gone in to see him." (Professor Alanna de Larrow)

"Behold the Metatron!" (Professor Alanna de Larrow)

(Singing while in his underwear in front of the mirror) "and I'm too sexy for my cloak, too sexy for my cloak, one good-lookin' bloke." *he winks to his reflection* (Professor Alanna de Larrow)

"Have a nice day!" (While wearing a happy face t-shirt and smiling) (Cpalmer1)

"Meet my pet cat... Bubbles." (September Snape, child of Slytherin House)

"I named my pillow 'Potter', my blanket 'Lupin', and my throw rug 'Black' so that whenever one of them got dirty I could take them out and beat them." (idea from Lion King) (September Snape, child of Slytherin House)

"Now let's all make a happy holding hand circle." (Spunkz)

*High on Viagra* "Wheeeeee!" *spins round in chair* (Spunkz)

"Oooooh oooh, me, me!!" (Spunkz)

"Wow, Tom, this whole 'give yourself a new name and take over the world' thing is pretty cool. Mind if I have a try?" (Spunkz)

Severus: Don't worry, Remus. I'm sure it happens to everyone sometime or other. I, myself, am a vampire, don't you know?
Remus: Er...
Severus: You'll get over it.
Remus: *scared* I ONLY WANTED SOME POTION!! (Spunkz)

"Screw Hogwarts. I'm going to Durmstrang." (Spunkz)


"Bum, bum, bum, brum, te, bum, bum!" (Check here to understand)

*singing* "Always look at the bright side of life! Tee du, tee du tee du tee du!" (Angelica)
"I'm collecting barbie dolls." (Angelica)

Snape: Minerva, can I borrow your dil-
Snape: Why not?
McGonagall: Remember what you did to it last time?! (Angelica)

"Hermione, who's your hairdresser? I just LOVE the frizz in your hair!" (Angelica)

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my favorite series - that Buffy is sooo HOT!" (Angelica)

(giggling) "Oh Harry, stop licking thay foot, it tickles. Lick the other foot instead." (Taiku)

"I think I left my teddy bear in the great hall! Some one come with me to get her!" (Speed Racer)

"Oh, Pansy, I never meant you to learn it this way... but.... Oh, Pansy, I can't go to the dance with you, I'm going with Harry!" (Speed Racer)

"Who wants a BABY RUTH bar? MY TREAT!!" (Speed Racer)

"Class, this is my daughter, Severia. What??? Didn't you know I had a princess of my own, Pansy?" (Speed Racer)

"Now let me show you my family album. This is me as a baby... Didn't I have beautiful shoulder length hair? This is me at age 31 taking my first bath..." (Speed Racer)

"Oh no. The grease on my skin isn't REAL. It's massage oil." (Speed Racer)

(At the Yule Ball) "Oh.... Mrs. Norris.... with fur so black, as black as night, and those pretty green eyes! KISS ME MRS NORRIS!! KISS ME ONCE AND FOR ALL!" (Speed Racer)

"I have feelings too, now say your sorry!" (Psyburn150)

"After Cedric died, I was sooooooooo upse- Oh, boy! Ice cream!" (Psyburn150)

"There is a little Mcdonalds, in everyone" (X-Falcon)

Sirius: Why are you following me?

Snape: *singing* Coz I'm all alone... There's no one here beside me... my problems have all gone... there's no one to deride me but you gotta have friends--
Sirius: Stop singing!!

(Still walking)
Snape: *still singing* On the road agaaain -sing it with me, Sirius- I can't wait to get on the road agaaain!
Sirius: What did I say about singing?
Snape: Can I whistle?
Sirius: No
Snape: Can I hum?
Sirius: No!
Snape: *huming*
Sirius: You're asking for a black eye!
Snape: *moping* But I want to sing... (Psyburn150)

*sings in the shower* "You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals so lets do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel!" (K.A.T.)

"Uh-oh!" (In true Teletubby Style) (Xanadan)

(On top of his desk, doing mad air guitar actions, and jumping about melodramatically, with all the pupils staring dumbfounded at him) "DON'T WANNA BE YOUR MONKEY WRENCH!!" (Xanadan)

"I fell in love with a beautiful stranger..." (Xanadan)

(Sitting crosslegged on desk with a pink acoustic guitar) "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to..." (Xanadan)

"Alright class, put away your ingredients. Today we're making popcorn!" (Xanadan)

"Yippee Kay Yay, MudderF*cker!" (Xanadan)

"Hey, you didn't bring me along for my charming personality..." (Xanadan)

"Shampoo? That's a Jewish holiday, isn't it?" (Xanadan)

(Ignoring the classes pleas for help as killer bees sting them to death) "Lalalalala! I'm not listening! Lalalalala!" (Xanadan)

"Professor Sprout, you turn me on with your big babylons!" )Pink Lady)

"Dammit! I left the condom in my office Minerva." (Csi3199)

"Hermione, you fill up the tub with bubbles and I'll go get Rubber Duckie." (Csi3199)

"Ron, have I ever told you that I think freckles are incredibly sexy?" *wink wink* (Csi3199)

"Oh hello, I'm Severus Snape from the hit book and movie series Harry Potter, you know, when I'm out making life for Harry miserable, and being a hard-ass to all the school's students, I want to look my best. And to do that, I turn to Industrial Strength Tanker Oil, it gives me that thick and tingly sensation that let's me know that my hair will hold for weeks...Industrial Strength Tanker Oil... it works REAL magic." (ARFstudios)

"Can you come out and play?" (Lady Padfoot)

"AAAGGHHHH!!! NOOOO!!! NOT A... A... SHOWER!!!!" ::faints:: (Lady Padfoot)

"Oh, Quirrel, that turban is so adorable!" (Lady Padfoot)

"Pink is my favorite color." (Lady Padfoot)

"I know you love me more, Lily." (Lady Padfoot)

"Of course Remus can be the DADA teacher, again!" (Lady Padfoot)

"Harry... I think you should know my real feelings for you..." (Lady Padfoot)

"If Jimmy cracked corn and know one cares, then why does he keep doing it?" (Lady Padfoot)

(To Sirius) "Isn't it time for Snuffles to take a bath?" ::winks suggestively:: (Lady Padfoot)

"I shouldn't have said that... I should not have said that..." (Lady Padfoot)

"James and me... we were like brothers!" ::sobs:: (Lady Padfoot)

"Oh come now, Hermione, I think you're quite attractive." (Lady Padfoot)

"Hi, class! It's soooo SUPER to see you! How am I doing? I'm so SUPER! Thanks for asking!" (The Empress of Commas - Lisa Ann)

"Well, sure. I could teach you how to stopper death. But wouldn't you rather learn how to brew beer instead?" (The Empress of Commas - Lisa Ann)

"I admit it! I was wrong! Will you let me kiss your shoes, please, Potter?" (Brooke)

(Singing) "You make me feel so young! You make me feel as though spring has sprung!" (Professor Anonymous)

"Hello, Fuzzy!!" (Lindsay)

"Oh, I couldn't possibly, Albus. All of that ice cream is going to go to my thighs, and we all know how hard I have have been working out on that Thigh Master in my office." (Kat)

"Hey, Lockhart, after classes want to go get some butterbeer together?" *winks* (Kat)

"Yippieeeeeee!!!" (Avalonx1)

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman..." (Avalonx1)

::singing:: "I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain! What a glorious feeeeeling, I'm happy again!" (Avalonx1)

"I'm a 'Toys R Us' Kid." (Avalonx1)

"Shaken, not stirred." (Avalonx1)

"Cooooool!!" (Avalonx1)

"Jer-ry, Jer-ry!" (audience in Jerry Springer show) (Avalonx1)

"How u doin'?" (the way Joey from 'Friends' says it) (Avalonx1)

"Harry Potter Rules!!!" (Avalonx1)

"Oh, I love when that cutesy Potter catches the Snitch and all the kiddies squeal with delight!" (DisneyDreamer87)

"Hakuna Matata! It's a wonderful phrase! Everyone, say it with me. Ha-ku-na Ma-ta-ta.Very good." (DisneyDreamer87)

"It's a small world after all!" (DisneyDreamer87)

::links arms with Ron and Harry:: "We're off to see Dumbledore, the wonderful wizard of Hogwarts!" (DisneyDreamer87)

::jumps up on Gryffindor Table during dinner holding a breadstick singing into it:: "In the jungle! The mighty jungle! The Gryffindor lion sleeps toniiiight!" (DisneyDreamer87)

::giggles:: "Oh, Harry, don't make me blush. I told you, if I smile too much, my grease will run down my face!" (DisneyDreamer87)

"I've been in this cage for three years, five months and seventeen days now -but who's counting? Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" (Alan Snape)

*looks at fingernails* "I wonder if I should paint my nails black, to go along with everything else that is black." (Jamie Snape)

*thinks he is putting grease in his hair then looks at the bottle* "Okay, who put this shampoo in my grease bottle?" (Syn: LOL!!) (Jamie Snape)

*says to Harry* "Here, taste this to make sure it's not poisionous." (Jamie Snape)

"Quirrell..." (getting down on his knee, crying a little bit) "Will you marry me?" (Cherry_kitty_12)

"Pikachu, I choose you!! Wait, Pikachu, you little b**ch, get back here!! "(starts running) (Cherry_kitty_12)

"Harry, I'm so tense. Will you give me a shoulder massage?" (wink wink) (Cherry_kitty_12)

(Snape and Hooch at the Yule Ball, singing to Nelly)
Snape: It's gettin hott in here, so take off all ya cloaks!
Hooch: I am getting too hott, I wanna take my cloaks off! (Cherry_kitty_12)

(on the table dancing and shaking his hips) "I wanna be a cowboy, baby!" (Cherry_kitty_12)

"Who loves kitty? Who loves kitty?" (running his fingers through his hair, and rubbing his butt) (Cherry_kitty_12)

(in a cheerleading outfit during a Quidditch match, with hair in pigtails) "Potter, Potter, he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can! Whooeee, go team go!" (Cherry_kitty_12)

"Potter, you've been a very naughty boy. You know what I'm gonna have to do, now don't you?" (wink wink) (Cherry_kitty_12)

*runs over a meadow* "Butterfly!" (Chicken Coup)

"Hermione, Hermione! Where for out tho Hermione?" (Emily)

"Dumbledore, will you marry me?" (Emily)

"100 points from Slytherin, and I give my self detention!" (Emily)

"I'm afraid to fart because I might shit my pants." (Psyburn150)

Vampire: I've come to suck your blood!
Snape: Aww, man! I thought you were gonna suck something else!
Vampire: *scared* (Emily M)

"I'm magically delicious!" (Diosadeorquesta)

"Is that your wand, Potter, or are you just happy to see me?!" (Diosadeorquesta)

"OH MY GOD, they killed Kenny!! Those bastards!" (Diosadeorquesta)

"Well, way back in the 90's they called me Greasy Spice!" (Diosadeorquesta)

"And I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!!" (Diosadeorquesta)

*stands on top of astronomy tower in a hurricane* "JACK!! I'm flying!!" (Diosadeorquesta)

Minerva: Freedom, Beauty, Truth and Love...
Severus: YOU F*CK, you stole that from moulin rouge! (Diosadeorquesta)

*watching Pocahontas* "It's not fair!! It's just not fair!!" *sniffle* (Diosadeorquesta)

*Draco walks out with long black hair and a black cape* "I shall call him... MINI ME!" (Diosadeorquesta)

"This one time, at Death Eater camp, Voldemort took his wand..." (Diosadeorquesta)

"I'm a pretty princess!" (Diosadeorquesta)

Snape: ::sings:: Until I got high! Until I got hig-gh. I was gonna make love to you... until I got high... Was gonn-
Minerva: Severus! (ZMystic1Z)

"Urge to kill... rising..." (ZMystic1Z)

::sings:: "I like chicken, I like liver! Meow mix, meow mix, please deliver!" (ZMystic1Z)

Snape: I'm bliiiind! ::runs around screaming hysterically::
Minerva: Open your eyes, Severus (ZMystic1Z)

"I'm not spoilt! *stamps his feet* I'M NOT! I'M NOT!! I'M NOT!!!" (Babs)

(At the end of the school year) "I'LL MISS YOU, GUYS! *hugs and kisses Harry, Ron, and Hermione* (Babs)

*notices Hermione's hand raised* "I'm not going to answer, you little fu- *BLEEP*!!" (Babs)

*singing* "Some day my prince'll come!" (Babs)

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I like spaghetti,
Let's fuck." (Stellar Snape)

"Hermione, tell me, have you ever seen a man wearing a thong? Here let me just flip my robes when no ones looking." (Jciallella)

"Now... If I seem like I'm being cruel again, just raise your hand and smack some sense into me!" (Sarah)

*Snape hugs a teddy bear and Sirius looks at him with disgust*
Sirius: You're supposed to be BAD!
Snape: *looks at teddy* Mr. Teddy, he wants me to be bad. That is very bad.
Sirius: If you don't leave my room, I'm going to kill you!
Snape: Teddy! He said the 'k' word! That's very bad.
Sirius: That's it! *he punches Snape in the stomach*
Snape: MOMMY! HE HURT ME! (Emily M.)

"Harry, you're going to be a father..." (Farie-chan)

"Harry, I'm pregnant... with twins." (Farie-chan)

"Voldie should have been a Gryffindor." (Farie-chan)

"Harry, I'm leaving you.... For Ron." (Farie-chan)

"Minerva, Albus and I... have a relationship... with the sorting hat." (Farie-chan)

"Draco, I love you." (Farie-chan)

"I lost my crayons." (Farie-chan)

"Filch, I... can't be with you anymore... I'm in love with Ms. Norris." (Farie-chan)

"I'm going to dress up as Santa Claus at Christmas." (Farie-chan)

"For heaven's sake Malfoy, KEEP IT IN THE PANTS!" (Becky)

"Potter, can I have a piece of candy?" (Becky)

"Hello, beautiful, wonderful children!" (Becky)

"I'll babysit!" (Becky)

"Harry! I love you! Sorry about that, I just had to get that off my chest..." (Lady Padfoot)

Harry: Um...Professor?
Snape: (dressed in all pink) Yes,Harry?
Harry: Do you feel alright?
Snape: I feel super! (Lady Padfoot)

"Oh! Remus! Could you be a lamb and give this fruit basket to Harry for me?" (Lady Padfoot)

"Oh, Puh-leese!. Goth is sooooo five minutes ago!" (Elewyiss)

"If you ever need to talk, Potter, you know, about your parents, I will always be here for you." (Steph)

"Hey class, guess what? I've signed up for Big Brother 4 and I got accepted!" (Steph)

"You are the weakest link *wink* Goodbye!" (in hign pitched, annoying Ann Robinson voice) (Steph)

"Who wanna play Heads down, Thumbs up?" (Steph)

*starts doing the dance* "Hey, macariner!" (Steph)

"Who loves orange soda? Snape loves orange soda! Is it true? Umhhum! I do, I do, I do...ho!!" (Steph)

(running around with pants on head) "I'm a pretty LADY!!" (Rhashel Black (Severus' one and only))

"If ignorance is bliss, then I'm orgasmatic!!" (Rhashel Black (Severus' one and only))

"You know, the best way to smuggle drugs into a country is to stick them up a dog's ass. That way, when the customs' dogs sniff them, the guys are like 'Oh, well, he's just sniffing his ass.'" (Rhashel Black (Severus' one and only))

"...I don't need this sh*t! you stupid, sadistic, abusive, f*cking whore! Would you like to see how it feels mommy? Here it comes, get ready to DIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!" (Rhashel Black (Severus' one and only))

"That's it! I've hade enough! I'm quitting my potions job and skipping off to New Zealand to start my One Man Cabaret." (Rhashel Black (Severus' one and only))

*runs out of his office after Professor McGonagal* "MINERVA!! YOU FORGOT YOUR BRA!!" (Becky)

Snape: *comes into class wearing a tye-dye shirt with a smilie face on it, bell-bottoms, platform shoes, pink round sunglasses* Today we're going to make a totally awsome truth potion, a groovy love potion, and a potion of peace.
Draco Malfoy: Um, Professor?

Snape: Yeah, Brother?
Draco: Nevermind, I don't want to know. (Becky)

*runs into and out of class naked* "FREEDOM!!" (Becky)

*very sternly* "Hermione, did you remember to get your monthly breast exam? I noticed they were looking kind of strange last night." (Becky)

"Ewwwwwwww! Potter is Cedric Diggory really dead? Why don't you poke him with a stick just in case?!" (Sabrina)

"Ye, Gods!" (Sabrina)

"Luuuuuuuucccccccyyyyyy, I'm hoooooommmmmeeee!" (Syn: LOL!!) (Sabrina)

*not knowing how to say it* Holler!" (Sabrina)

"I'm a natural Muggle-born!" (Sabrina)

"Time to chop off your pee pee, Stan!" (You have to watch South Park for that one) (Sabrina)

Snape: *looks at script* Do I have to? *whining*
Director: *fed up with snape's whining* Yes, you have to.
Snape: Fine. *in mono-tone* Oh, my God. It's Voldemort. Oh, help me, Harry.
Director: CUT! Bring Alan Rickman in here!
Snape: Why Alan?
Diretor: Cause your not good enough.
(alan walks in)
Alan: *in a happy way* I'm mean, I'm bad and I hate kids! I'm Professor Snape!
Snape: Why you, @$$hole! How could you replace me for him?! *looks at Alan in a disgusted way as Alan plays with the black wig he's wearing* (Emily M.)

"Ay ay, Captain!" (Poco928)

"Crunchatize me, Cap'n!" (Poco928)

SpongeBob: Severus! Your genius is showing!
Snape: (covers lower front body) WHERE?!? (Poco928)

*dancing stupidly while clapping hands* "Whoohoo! Look at me go!" (Poco928)

Minerva: ::rolls eyes, holding up an application for DADA teacher:: Severus, you got this wrong... ::pointing at where it says 'Sex'::
Severus: ::looking at it, shaking his head:: No, no, it says 'Sex' and I answered yes.
Minerva: your supposed to state if you're male or female
Severus: ::grins:: But, no... Sex isn't the answer, sex is the question. Yes, is my answer (NarcissaCMalfoy)

(steps to the front of the class and holds up a peace of paper) "This is my plan to..." *holds his baby finger up to his mouth imitating Dr. evil from Austen Powers* "Take over the world!" (Dobbie)

"Class, this is my new kitten. You shall address her as 'Your Majesty' and give her a friendly pat every time you see her... or ELSE!" (Christine)

"POTTER! Why isn't my internet connection working?" (Christine)

"Oh, SHIT!" (Christine)

"Alright, who ate all of the strawberry ice cream?" (Christine)

"That's correct, Neville!" (Christine)

"Hey, I want a bobble-head doll, too!" (Christine)

"Hey is for horses." (Christine)

"Minerva, am I a bitch?" (Christine)

*owl brings basket to the dungeon, with a baby inside* "Aww, DAMMIT! Class, always use condoms." (Christine)

*singing* "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains!" (Angelica)

*singing, in front of Minerva* "Underneith your clothes, there's an endless story!" (Angelica)

"Gilderoy, can I pleeeeeeeeease borrow your curlers and your pink robes? I'm having a date with Minerva, you see." (Angelica)

Dr. Lazarus: By Grabthars Hammer, you shall be avenged.
Snape: By whose Hammer??? (Angelica)

"Tampax was there." (Raven)

"Maybe I need therapy...?" (Raven)

"Alright, class, lets begin. Every take out your dildos and turn to page 5 of your books..." (Raven)

"Narf! But, Brain, how do you get the lion to wear the tu-tu?" (Raven)

"I thought Keanu Reeves was sooooooo sexy in the Matrix!!" (Raven)

"Now where did I leave those penis enlarging herbs?" (Raven)

"For the last time, Dumbledore... I DO NOT know how to make viagra!" (Raven)

"She's baaaack..." (Professor Alanna de Larrow Snape)

Severus: Some people think I'm a vampire, it must be because I like being in darkness.
Alanna: Really? I thought it was those crooked teeth of yours.
Severus: Care to find out? ::chases Alanna around the room, both laughing::(Professor Alanna de Larrow Snape)

Severus: Class, today I'm going to let Miss Noelle teach you all again.
Gryffindor Student: Please, Professor! We want you to be our teacher!
Gryffindor Student #2: Yeah... she scares us! (Professor Alanna de Larrow Snape)

Severus: Darling, why are you staring at me?
Alanna: 'Cause you're cuuuute.
Severus: I know that, but why are you staring at me? (Professor Alanna de Larrow Snape)

Severus: ::smacks his rear end:: kiss it
Alanna: ::squeezes it instead::
Severus: ..!! ::squeaks:: (Professor Alanna de Larrow Snape)

Alan: Daddy, do I have to take a bath?
Severus: Of course not, I don't take baths. Alanna: ::weilding soap and a brush:: THERE you are! Severus & Alan: Ahhhhhh! ::run away:: (Alan Richard Snape, Child of Slytherin House)

September: I want to be a hairstylist, Daddy!
Severus: ::holding his greasy black locks protectively:: That's good... go tell your mother. (September Snape, Child of Slytherin House)

Seven: Daddy, why do I have to bathe when you and Alan don't?
Severus: Because your mother is scary... (Seven Snape, Child of Slytherin House)

Snape: *dances around in his dungeon in a white speedo to the Madonna song "Like A Virgin"* Like a virgin-- Hey!!
(students walk into the room and stare horrorfied, and the music abruptly stops. So does Snape)
Snape: *covers self with hands* One word of this to anyone... (Slytherins Firery Pheonix)

"Malfoy! Take that ridiculous thing off! You know that i'm the only one who looks good in a tutu around here!!" (Amara)

Broom... Vibrato Leviosa! (Andrew Carowick)

You may now address me as He-Who-Must-Get-Laid (Andrew Carowick)

"Bongggggg!" (Ashley)

*slaps Harry across the face with a glove* (Southern accent) "You, my friend, have insulted my honor. I challenge you to a duel!" (Severely Snapped)

Snape: Oh... my... God... IT'S THE MOTHMAN!! *cowers under chair*
Harry Potter: Sir? (Severely Snapped)

"Sometimes, the colors you see with your eyes closed are more interesting than the colors you see with your eyes open." (Severely Snapped)

Snape: I was playing this Final Fantasy game, and there was this really hot Kuja chick, and-
McGonagall: Severus? That was a man. (Severely Snapped)

"Oh! My! GAWD!" (like Janice from Friends)

*imitating Bill Clinton for class* "I did not have sexual relations with that cauldron." (Severely Snapped)

"Oops, I crapped my pants." (Severely Snapped)

"ACK!! The Internet's frozen again!" (Severely Snapped)

*Sobs* "I admit! I DID stalk Bono for a year!" (Severely Snapped)

(Screaming)"If you're five-five five or SIX-SIX-SIX!!! What's it like to be a heretic?!" (Rhasel Black)

(Head banging)"SPIT! IT OUT! All you wanna do is drag me down, all I wanna do is stamp you out!" (Rhasel Black)

(singing lovely)"I've felt the hate rise up in me, kneel down to clear the stone of leaves. I wander over where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed." (I've been on a Slipknot high; can't ya tell?) (Rhashel Black)

(notices class staring at him) "I've been on a Slipknot high; can't ya tell?" (Rhashel Black)

"So whatcha whatcha whatcha want?" (Rhashel Black)

"And theeeeeeeeen?" (Rhashel Black)

"I want a mask like Corey Taylor's. The hair on his looks better than mine." (Rhashel Black)

"My fantasy? Oh, let's Serj Tankian and Jonathan Davis chained to my wall to be my love slaves for all eternity would be nice... but ruling the universe and a chicken burrito sound pretty tempting, too..." (Rhashel Black)

(looking at baby) "A coochie, coochie, coo!" (Syn: I can't remember who sent this in, sorry.)

"Gosh darn gee wiz!" (Footmonster)

"You have to be trilingual just to read these instructions..." (Footmonster)

"Longbottom, for the last time, don't mess with my lego set!" (Footmonster)

"Which robe looks better on me? The black one or the black one?" (Footmonster)

"Anyone want some gum?" (Footmonster)

"Damn. My ass has gone to sleep." (Footmonster)

"I meant to do that." (Footmonster)

"Oh no! My summer tan is gone already!" (Footmonster) Footmonster)


"I'm totally stressed out." (Footmonster)

"Wow, flavoured condoms! What will they think of next?" (Footmonster)

"Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" (Footmonster)

"How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?" (Footmonster)

"And now for something completely different." (Footmonster)

"I'm going off the rails on a crazy train!" (Footmonster)

"Don't do that. I'm ticklish." (Footmonster)

"Group hug!" (Footmonster)

"MORK!" (Footmonster)

"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" (Footmonster)

"I've got a bone to pick with you, Potter. Two bones... a whole corpse, actually..." (Footmonster)

"Doe a deer, a female deer. Ray, a drop of golden sun..." (Footmonster)

"Dammit! I've lost another toenail clipping!" (Footmonster)

"You ain't nothing but a hound-dog..." (Footmonster)

"Howdy, y'all!" (For all of us Texans out there) (Footmonster)

"Ni! Ni! Ni!" (Rhashel Black)

"Run away! Run away!" (Rhashel Black)

"Custard dreams, abusing, musing, marmalade flesh, naked spread am iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Am iiiiiiiiiii-hi-iiiiiiiiiiii!" (Rhashel Black)


"Who can rock a rhyme like this? Give it to ya every time like this? I said, who can rock a rhyme like this? Step, step up; step, step up." (Rhashel Black)

"I'm lovely. All I am is lovely. Lovely I the one thing I can dooo..." (Rhashel Black)

"Way back when I was just a itty bitty boy, livin' in a box under the stairs, in the corner of the basement, of the house half a block down the street from jerry's bait shop, you know the place...." (Rhashel Black)

"SIIIC! SIIIC! SIIIC!" (Rhashel Black)

"Yes, I admit it. I am a vampire and I am proud of it!!" (ScottandNat)

"I had a terrible childhood, that's why I am such a jerk." (ScottandNat)

(singing) "I'm so tired of being alone, so tired of being on my own." (ScottandNat)

"I changed my name and moved to America. (West Virginia to be exact)" (ScottandNat)

"I love New York!!" (ScottandNat)

"10,000 points for Ravenclaw." (The house I truly wanted to be in) (ScottandNat)

"Sirius, I don't want your damn dogpound up in here!! No I won't make all your drunk friends a hangover potion! I don't care how much you all throw up!!" (ScottandNat)

"I going to quit Hogwarts and go work at GNC" (General Nutrition Centers) (ScottandNat)

"Yes, I definitely think that marijuana should be legalized!!" (ScottandNat)

"2,000 points for Hufflepuff!!" (ScottandNat)

"Minerva, do you think I should wear these pink thong underwear, or the boxers Dumbledore sent me? You know, the ones with the little pink hearts saying 'I Love Barbies' on it? You know they're my favorite." (Snape's eyelashes flutter) (Mugglegirl04)

(Snape, looking like Lil' Romeo) "Yo Harry, my man, waz shakin' dawg, yo didn't send me one owl over the summer. Thaz cold, man. Yo owl die on ya?" (Mugglegirl04)

"All right, I'm going to count to ten,*sob* and when I turn around, my teddy bear Mr. Snuggles had better be back on my desk! *sob* I get lonely when I'm away from him!" (Mugglegirl04)

*in valley girl voice* "Ohmygod, you're actually wearing black? Everyone knows that is soooooo five minutes ago!" (Mugglegirl04)

"Show-er. What's that?" (Mugglegirl04)

Snape: Hey Draco, you smell nice ::licks lips::
Draco: Really, now? Well, why don't you come over here where you can REALLY appreciate it...? ::wink:: (Chichicca06)

"AWWW! Flitwick! You're so cute!" (Chichicca06)

"Can we fix it? YES WE CAN!!" (Mugglegirl04)

"Fosters-Australian for beer." (NQ, The Insane)

Snape: *speaking into a microphone in a surprisingly high pitched voice* "HEEEERROOOO! COME AND GET ME, HEEEERRO!"
Director: Aaaand...cut!
Snape: *muttering* God, I hate these voice-over jobs... (NQ, The Insane)

"I like swords!" (NQ, The Insane)

"Wasting awaaay agaaain in Margeritavillleee... searching for my-yyy lost shaker of saaalt..." (NQ, The Insane)

"It's not easy, being green." (NQ, The Insane)

"One last dance with Mary Jane, one last chance to kill the paa-ee-ain..." (NQ, The Insane)


"Mr. Pibb, I'm onto you..." (NQ, The Insane)

(Neville and Snape are standing in the dungeons next to a bubbling cauldron All seems oddly...cheerful.)
Snape: *smiling* ...and then you add the infusion of fireroot to the boazer broth...
Neville: Like this Mister Snape? *pours some infusion into the potion*
Snape: Be careful Neville. Remember kids, don't try this at ho-
Neville: Whoops! *drops the entire vile of firewoot infusion into the cauldron*


Snape: *shouting offstage* We need another Neville! (NQ, The Insane)

"Quick! What's the number for 911?!" (NQ, The Insane)

"Lets do the timewarp agaaaain!..." (NQ, The Insane)

Snape: *in the staffroom, wearing nothing but a large overshirt* Chi! ^-^
McGonagall: For the last time Severus, you aren't a Chobit! Now put some damn pants on! (NQ, The Insane)

*holding Flitwick in the air* "Hey guys, I found the volleyball!" (NQ, The Insane)

"Go for the beer, Boo, go for the beer! Raaask!" (NQ, The Insane)

*to Draco* "I'm just fattening you up so I can eat you." (NQ, The Insane)

*to the opening song for Kenshin* "Daikirai datta sobakasu wo chotto Hitonadeshite tame iki wo hitotsu..." (NQ, The Insane)

"If you don't like sake then something is wrong with you." (NQ, The Insane)

Snape: Harry, you are the heart of outer space!
Harry: Erm... (NQ, The Insane)

Snape: Do you have any idea what it's like, people guessing what you would and would not say, while making inane pop culture and anime references, all for the sake of their petty amusement?!
Syn: Um, I can honestly say I didn't think of that... (NQ, The Insane)
Snape: No, you didn't. (NQ, The Insane)

"Remember kids, its no fun until somebody loses an eye!" (NQ, The Insane)

"Can't we all just be a happy family?" (Simona)

"Chocolate cake and cookies... my favourite!" (Simona)

"What do you mean pink flowers don't go with my dungeon?!?!" (Katgirl)

"Optimists may say the glass is half-full, and pessimists may say the glass is half-empty. Well, I say the glass is too damn big!" (Tanja)

*dancing around and singing* "This old man, he played one, he played knick-knack on my drum. With a knick-knack paddy-whack, give a dog a bone. This old man came rolling home...! This old man, he played two..." (Tanja)

"Help, I've fallen and I can- hey, nice carpet!" (Tanja)

*to Gilderoy* "If I was in a room with you and two werewolves and I had a gun with two silver bullets, I'd shoot you, twice...!" (Tanja)

*looks at Syn and singing impish* "Oh yeh, I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand, then I'll say that something... I wanna hold your ha-a-a-and, I wanna hold your ha-a-a-and, I wanna hold your haaand...!" (Tanja)

"I don't want to be a teacher any more... I want to become a TEENSTAR!" (Tanja)

*watch Harry, who runs away* "I wonder what the reason may be...!?" *look into his mirror and see, that he forgot to dress* (Tanja)

*singing dramatically* "I have climbed highest mountain. I have run through the fields. Only to be with youuuuu, only to be with youuuuu!" (Tanja)

*grumbling* "I feel like a fifth wheel...!" *at the cinema with Harry, Cho, Ron and Hermione* (Tanja)

"HAO!" (Lady Padfoot)

"Yo Mama was a Gryffindor!!" (Sarah)

::Watches Moulin Rouge for the hundreth time, singing every song: "The greeatest thing... you'll ever learn... is just to love... and be loved in retuuuuuuuuuuuuurn!" (Celeste)

"Giuche giuche ya ya dada!" (Celeste)

"Do ya wanna touch...? (Yeah!) Do ya wanna touch...? (Yeah!) Do ya wanna touch me theeeere? Wheeeere? Theeeere? YEEEEAH!" ::singing in an apron in a French Maid's outfit while dusting his furry pink and white themed house that he lives at during the Summer:: ( Severus: Now that's just going to far... ) (Celeste)

::Dancing in front of a full-length mirror with his back facing it, looking back at his reflection down at his but, trying to make his hips go as fast as Shakira's:: "How does she do that?!" (Celeste)

::playing Lunar: Eternal Blue on his Playstation:: "The world will once again be mine on a delicious half shell. And you can't stop me...Lucia..." *cackle* *cough* (Alanna de Larrow)

Severus: ::playing Suikoden 1 now on his Playstation:: Damn it, Flik! Don't attack Milich! ::He throws the controller down and walks over to Flik, thwapping him in the head::
Flik: Ow! What was that for? (Alanna de Larrow)

Severus: What is this TV of which you speak? I only know of the magic box I play games on.
Alanna: Sevy, that...IS...a TV. (Alanna de Larrow)

Severus: What the....this locket and ring has my face on it!
Ghaleon: At least you don't have a puppet that looks like you. (Alanna de Larrow)

"I had a terrible childhood. I'll tell you about it sometime. I never knew my parents... it's amazing I'm sane!" (Severusina)

"I need the grease to stop me burning up in the sun...I'm a vampire, you know!" (Severusina)

"Where are my toenail seperators? Gilderoy..." (Severusina)

"Alan Rickman is So0o0o hot..." (Severusina)

"Er... Sybil... when you predicted Harry Potter would make me famous one da-" *trampled by stampede of adoring fans* (Severusina)

"I'm not mad! I'm just misunderstood!" (Severusina)

*drunk* "I'm not spinning the bottle again, Minerva..." (Severusina)

Snape sees Harry upset
[Snape:] (hugging Harry grabbing his butt)
[Harry:] Are you grabing my butt?
[Snape:] Not I. (Egyptianshay)

(After class Severus stands up from his chair as the children are walking out the door)
[Severus:] Aaaggghh! I can't feel my ass!! My ass has fallen asleep! I didn't even know an ass could fall asleep! It's all tingly and shit!! *children walks out of classroom* Hey, you can't just leave me here! I mean, you can't just leave me here!! (Bookmark)

"Severus Snape Digivolve to... GILDORY LOCKHART!!" (Bookmark)

Severus: (gets annoyed with script after there was a hole burned into the floor) Argh! This is bloody annoying! I give fu-PEEP! What the fu-PEEP! Hey, can you stop the 'peep' thing, it is really getting fu-PEEP. Hey, you ba-PEEP! This is stu-PEEP!! But I did not ev-PEEP! WHAT THE HE-PEEP IS -PEEP ON!! (Looks at Camera) MAKE IT PEEP YOU F*CKING B*ASTARD!
Cameraman: I cant!
Severus: Oh, PEEP! yeah! (Walk over to Camera, pulls fist back and knocks camera over) PEEP THE PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEEP PEEEEEP PEEP PEEP PEEEP.... STOP!!
Directer: Say what?
(Camera goes white) (Bookmark)

Student: Excuse me! Mr. Snake?
Snape: (points wand at student) Avade Kedavra!
(student drops to the ground with a thud - Snape turns to stunned class) (Steller Snape)
Snape: And that, class, is why you NEVER call me Mr. Snake! Now, back to our discussion on Slytherin sexual fantasies and their impact on our lives... (Steller Snape)

*rolls up sleeves and does a double-take when he sees the Dark Mark* Snape: Now how did that get there? (Steller Snape)

"Classes will be cancelled today in celebration of Gryffindor's victory over Slytherin in the Quidditch Cup. Go Lions!" (Steller Snape)

"In light of your recent exam results, I have decided to provide a special tray for you to place your homework in each day." Picks up the garbage can from the floor and slams it onto his desk. (Steller Snape)

Snape: (to Hermione) I'm not too good at Arithmancy, but doesn't U+I = 69?
Hermione: Erm... Professor?
Snape: Is that a keg in your pants? Because I would love to tap that ass!
*Hermione runs away screaming*
Snape: What did I say? (Steller Snape)

"Whizpop whiz bang feel the bubbles go down! Whizbang whizpop bursting all around! Whizpop whizbang take it nice and slow! Cause you're never stopping the fabulous feeling of wizpopping wherever you go!" (Alan Snape)

"Oh, Potter, I'll give you 20 galleons if you go down to Diagon Alley for me and pick up a pretty pink pony for me." (i_worship_snape a.k.a Karin Johansen)

"Class, I have decided to become a woman." (Chococat800)

"Look, class, if I'm extra stressy today just blame it on the PMT." (Emma)

*singing* "Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree" (Emma)

"That's not in the script!!" (Emma)

"Malfoy, put that pickled rats brain back in the jar!!" (Emma)

*sitting reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban* "You what?! I can't seriously be that bad! From today I'm a changed man." (Emma)

"Malfoy you're expelled!" (Emma)

*After 10 minutes of heavy farting* "Was that you, Malfoy?" (Lo_205)

"Go Griffindors!" At a quidditch match of Sytherin against Griffindor. (Lo_205)

*Dancing erotically to the tune of Hot Stuff, by Hot Chocolate* "I want some potter, baby this evening, gotta have some potter, got to have some potter tonight." (Lo_205)

"I'd love to be a muggle, d'ya know?" (Lo_205)

"Erm, I think I'll have that little puppy in the end cage, the one with the pink ribbon" (Lo_205)

"I have a crush on Minerva, but sssshhhh! Don't tell any one!" (Lo_205)

"Lo, would you marry me?" (Lo_205)

*sings into wand* "Let's get a party started! When it's time to party we will party hard! Yah!" (Toast)

"I've decided to have a sex change!" (Toast)


"Ohhhhh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" (Toast)

"Malfoy... please leave at once... the stench is unbearable!" (Toast)

"When I was little, I never wanted to be a teacher, you know. I wanted to be.... SPIDERMAN!" (Toast)

*skips down the hallyway holding a bunch of magazines* "Nudie magazine day! Nudie magazine day!" (Toast)

*looks at students while Proffessor McGonagall walks by, stiffly* "Geez... what's up her butt?" (Toast)

*sings to reflectionin mirror* "When I think about you I touch myself...Ooo..." (Gothicragdolly)

"I can't understand why Harry doesn't like me." (Gothicragdolly)

"I'm sorry I snapped at you all, class, I'm just having a bad day." (Gothicragdolly)

"Lockhart, I was wondering if I can have you're autograph?" (Gothicragdolly)

*on the phone* " Oh hello, mother... Yes, I did get your package, thank you for the home-made cookies. They were yummy" (Gothicragdolly)

"I really don't hate Harry. I guess I'm just a bit jealous, that's all..." (Gothicragdolly)

"Longbottom is the best student I ever taught." (Gothicragdolly)

"That's it, Mr. Malfoy, it's detention for you and 10 tens from Slytherin." (Gothicragdolly)

*gets down on one knee and sings to Harry* "Did you ever know that you're my hero?" (Gothicragdolly)

"Don't worry, Harry! I'll save you!" (Gothicragdolly)

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Sirus. I have been a big prick to you, let's forget what happened in the past and try to be friends." (Gothicragdolly)

"Hello boys and girls, my name is Professor Snape and we're going to have loads of fun making potions this year!" (Gothicragdolly)

"I'm dancing like a monkey!" (Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG)

"Let's make biscuits!" (Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG)

"Fragile." *pronounces it fra-geal-a* "Must be Italian." (Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG)

"ET smoke weed!" (Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG)


"I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now." (Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG)

*sings* "F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea." (Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG)

"I wanna be a mongoose. Can I be a mongoose dog?" (Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG)

Severus: Hurray for earth!
Zim: Severus, earth is our enemy!
Severus: I understand... (Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG)

*slowly and threateningly* "Oh sure, you can annoy me... once." (Tanja)

*to Gilderoy* "Why are you here, and what can I do to change that?" (Tanja)

*excited* "Class, Dumbledore is coming - look busy!" (Tanja)

*Ron opens the fridge door and stares at Professor Snape, who cowers in there*
Snape: Ever wonder if the light goes out when you close the fridge door? Well, yes it does. (Tanja)

"Malfoy! You did wrong again!" (Maria)

"Hey, Harry, Let me see your nimbus." (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) (Ambie_ridenour)

"Hello, my name is Severus and I'm addicted to porn..." (akward silence) "PILLOW FIGHT!!" (Ambie_ridenour)

(While dancing around in circles)
"I believe in miracles! Where you from, you sexy thang?" (Supersan)

(While wearing Richard Simmons-esque type clothing)

(While watching "Sleepless in Seattle")
"...mmm... Tiramisu..." (Supersan)

"What do you think your mother and I did on our dates, Potter? Play Paint By Numbers?" (Lily)

*laughing maniacally* "I will be King Of Games one again, Yugi!!" (Amara)

Snape: *holds up a card* I play the Blue-Eyes White Dragon, in Attack mode! *smacks the card down on his desk*
Students: *ide-eyed and silent*
Snape: *clears throat* I mean... there is no time to play games... Finish your blue-eye... er.. dragon scale potions... (Amara)

"It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!!" (Amara)

"Would anyone like to see my wand?" (wink wink) (RedDwarf88)

*singing* "Baby, when I think about you, I think about love... I feel like making love to you!" (BlackDracan)

"I'm gonna ditch black and start wearing a kilt!" (BlackDracan)

"Legolas is one hot stud, woo hoo!" (BlackDracan)

(Running into room) "Look! Look! I've programmed by mobile fellytone to play 'Hedwig's Theme'! Listen! (songs begins to play, singing along) Do do do do do do de do... isn't that AWESOME?!?!" (LittleLotte1282)

"Today, instead of doing some crass potions, i'm going to teach french quisine!" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Remus, pass the gnomes moss, man." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Sirius, did you know I'm an animagi too?" *winks* (The Anonymous Girls)

"Sham-poo? Is that what comes out of a sloth when you boil it?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Sex, drugs, rock and roll, weed, speed, birth control, you are born and then you die, so fuck this shit and lets get high. If at first you don't succeed, try again with better weed." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Hermione, you little minx!" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Hagrid, lay off the butter beer." (The Anonymous Girls)

Severus: I like that boulder, that's a nice boulder.
Minerva: Is that a good thing?
Severus: It is for me. (The Anonymous Girls)

"I'm not a stalker. Me and Harry are made for each other." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Lockhart, did you get the body chocolate for tonight?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Whatever the sorting hat tells you, it's not true." (The Anonymous Girls)

"I like bacon, I like pork, run little piggy cause I got a fork." (The Anonymous Girls)

"When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Dumbledore... I am your father." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Flitwick, you're just the right height to stand up and suck my *ahem*." (The Anonymous Girls)

"I tried tanning my arse but it freckled." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Please, Potter, just straddle the broom stick once more." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Ahh, shit! I ran out of concealer!" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Remus, tell me how you got your manly wolf hair so white." (The Anonymous Girls)

*Snape walks into class extra happy* "Class, you can have this day off. I got some last night." (The Anonymous Girls)

*having a hissy fit* "But I wanna decorate the Christmas Tree this year!" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Your place or mine?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Dumbledore, is it wrong to put this on Potter's report?" ( . Y . ) (The Anonymous Girls)

"Harry, you must tell me where you got those sexy glasses." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Hey, babe, do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk past you again?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Sprout, not now!" (The Anonymous Girls)

"I noticed you noticing me, and wanted to give you notice that I noticed you, too." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Trelawney, when will I get laid? Tonight?" (The Anonymous Girls)

*lying back on a desk* "Sprout, do me." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Anyone got a spare mini skirt?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"I wish I could shake IT like Shakira." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Snape actually means 'pretty as a flower'." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Anyone wanna play fish?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Hermione, I have two big bludgers and a long wand that needs cleaning. You busy?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Oh bugger! I'm missing Week Two of Sabrina Secrets! Ron give it back!" (The Anonymous Girls)

"My man hood grew over night..." *lifts up robes* "...See?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Crabbe! Goyle! Save it for the bedroom!" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Hermione, you must tell me where you got those hot pants!" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Peanut Butter does wonders for my complexion." (The Anonymous Girls)

"I know, the Lion King made me cry too." (The Anonymous Girls)

"Hey! Who ate all my Spelly-Jellies?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Class, which is better a fur lined thong or a lacy bra?" (The Anonymous Girls)

"Potter for President!! Go Griffindor! Lions for the Cup!" (Rosie O20)

Hermione: *sitting with Crookshanks in her lap* Would you like to pet my pussy?
Snape: Hell yeah, if you'd just remove that damn cat! (Becky)

*grabs two apples* "Oooh!!! Buffalo! testicles!!" (LiL Padfoot)

"I don't want any of the f***in bubbles! I'm Severus f***in Snape the f***in Prince of f***in Darkness!!" (a la Ozzy Osbourne) (A href="">Rowlingreader)

"Radical, baby!" (Bombshells01)

"Do these robes look too tight?" (Bombshells01)

"Awwww!" (Oconnellp)

"The clowns made me do it." (Llothspydrqween)

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..." (Llothspydrqween)

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-" *bangs toe against chair* "Aaggh! Night." *hobbles away* (Georgia)

"It's ok, Lockhart. You have the last sandwich. I'll starve." (Georgia)

"I love rockn’roll!" *imitating Britney spears* "Put another dime..." (Georgia)

"Put on the Christmas carols again, Potter." (Georgia)

"Lets tango, Weasly." (Georgia)


"Potter, light my joint, will you?" (Georgia)

"Go on, Remus... one more toke." (Georgia)

"I'll never betray you." (Georgia)

"My shout. Another whiskey, please." (Georgia)

"Goodnight, Gryffindors." (Georgia)

"I'm so glad you came to Hogwarts, Harry." (Georgia)

"Why? WHY? I thought you loved me, Lockhart, and you go and bonk Potter?" (Georgia)

"I have herpes. So I can't sleep with you, Lockhart. My blisters have popped." (Georgia)

"I'll kill that Voldemort, Harry... if he dare lays an hand on you. You are my gimp now." (Georgia)

"Faster, Hermione! Faster! The viagra will be wearing off soon." (Georgia)

"I need a smoke." (Georgia)

"I'm so rich." (Georgia)

"That whip feels sooo good, Potter." (Georgia)

"Get Hermione in so she can rub my feet, Weasley." (Georgia)

"I'm so happy." (Georgia)

"Where the @$%# is my hairbrush?!" (BevinKB)

"Hey, wow. Lupin's right. I am an ugly git." (Natasha)

"Just gimme da light and pass the joe!" (Sabrina)

"I'm gonna go slap a window!!" (Sabrina)

"What?! You're out of pink?! Get me purple now!" (Sabrina)

"My favourite Tele-tubby is Tink-Winky! Yep! He's the gay one! Tee hee!" (Sabrina)

"It's okay to cry. I do it every night. I even did it the first time I had sex! Wait, I didn't have sex, now, did I?" (Sabrina)

"Syn, you've been a naughty girl, go to MY room!" (I swear I say it on a button.) (BevinKB)

*singing* "I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny, that when a girl walks in with a ity-biyt waste and a round thing in your face you get...!" (The Welsh Snape Luva)

(Dancing in front of mirror) "I wore an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka-dot bikini..." (Raympa4)

::Severous at a party, so drunk, has a orange n green stripe tie on his head n starts singing:: "EVERYBODY HAVE FUN TONIGHT!! EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!!!" (RedDwarf88)

"Mister Potter, our... new... celebrity... Can I have you autograph???" (Soleiva Sitril)

"I feel so... cool!" (Soleiva Sitril)

"WHERE ARE MY PINK SOCKS??!" (Soleiva Sitril)

"No Draco, I won't talk to you. You really hurt my feelings you know..." (Soleiva Sitril)

"That is a '79 pontiac Firebird. The car I always wanted and now I have it. I rule!" (Soleiva Sitril)

"Harry, we know each other now for four years and I know we have been through some hard times, but you must know I have always loved you. Will you marry me?" (Soleiva Sitril)

"Omigod!!! You are... so... cool!!" (Soleiva Sitril)

"Taking points from Griffyndor is so mean!" (Soleiva Sitril)

**gives harry, ron, and hermione a big bear hug** "You guys are my favorite students!" (North07)

"Hermione, are you responsible for all this Snape/Dumbledore fan-fiction. I told you; no one will find out about us." (DeSere`)

"Hey, Potter, how's it hanging?" (DeSere`)

While sitting in the dungeon on a summer afternoon during a class: "OOoo! It's getting hot in here, so hot, so take off all your robes..." (DeSere`)

Malfoy spills some potion and Snape goes "Ha Ha." (in a ver Nelson from Simpsons way) (DeSere`)

Snape's reading through a bible, "God says magic and sorcery are a detestable thing? I quit." (DeSere`)


"I feel the urge to herbal." (Penelope C.)

"Would you like to borrow my shalimar, Minerva?" (Penelope C.)

"Those robes look ravishing on you Lockhart." (Penelope C.)

*sings* "I've got a nose, nose, nose. I've got a nose, nose, nose." (Penelope C.)

"OI! With the poodles already!" (Tseward)

"My feet are sweating!" (Tseward)

"OH my GAWD! Did you SEE Gilmore Girls last night? Rory TOTALLY kissed Jess!" (So? I have a GG fetish...) (Tseward)

*in very afeminate voice* "That Alan Rickman is so SEXY!" (Tseward)

"Harry, love, would you hand me that lotion... That's a dear! Now, where should I use it first? Me or you?" (Tseward)

"Don't get mad, get unclad! In my private chambers, ladies..." (Tseward)

*in drunken voice, waving around umbrella and doing odd, sexual dance* "My pongoes lie over the ocean, my pongoes lie over the sea..." (Tseward)


"Time to make the donuts!" (Tseward)

*sings* "OH! Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro..." (Tseward)

"Do you think I'd make a good redhead?" (Tseward)

"HOW many times do I HAVE to tell you, Harry? YOU CAN'T BE THE STAR PUPIL IN MY CLASS JUST BECAUSE I'M SLEEPING WITH YOU!" (a la "I Love Lucy") (Tseward)

"He shows me pretty things..." *referring to Dumbledore* (Tseward)

"NOOOOO!!! MY WAFFLE!!!" (Mystery Science Theatre 3000-ya dig?) (Tseward)

"ROOBY-ROOBY-ROO!!!" *tears in eyes from laughing* "GAWD! I love that dog!" (um, Scooby Doo, that is...) (Tseward)

*in sing-song voice* "You think I'm sexy, you wanna HUG me, you want to LOVE me, you want to KISS me..." (from "Miss Congeniality") (Tseward)

"Excuse me, class, I have to run down to the massage parlour... they've just sent me an owl telling me they found my panties from my last visit..." (Tseward)

"I just LOVE two-in-one shampoo and conditioner! Makes my hair silky and shiny in half the time!" (Tseward)

*yells* "MY NAME IS TOOKIE VALENTINE AND I AM A PRETTY LADY!!!" *running around and around in circles with pants on his head* (Tseward)

*in valley girl voice* "OH NO, YOU DIDN'T!" (Tseward)

"TALK to the hand!" (Tseward)

*sings* "The sun'll come out, tomorrow..." (Tseward)

"Screw you guys, I'm going to my chambers. Exploding pus-balls of slime from potions gone awry is where I draw the line" (to paraphrase Cartman on South Park) (Tseward)

*in the manner of pom-pom waving drones everywhere* "I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm evil and cunning to boot! I'm bitching, GREAT hair - the girls all love to stare! I'm rockin', I'm wild - though many think I'm vile!" (Like the intro to "Bring It On") (Tseward)


"Did I do THA-A-T?" (you know-like Steve Erkel...) (Tseward)

"I love GAOLLLD!" (erm-like Golmember in Austin Powers...) (Tseward)

"It'd be so empty, without me..." (Tseward)

*sings* "I wanna be where the muggles are- I wanna see, wanna see 'em playing- playing around with that, what's the word again, DILDO!!!" (horrible parody of "The Little Mermaid"... my apologies to Mr. Disney, who is probably rolling in his grave right now...) (Tseward)

"All you need is love." (Tseward)

"I LOVE My Little Pony- they're so PRITTYFUL!!!" (Tseward)

"If I could go back in time, I'd see Snoopy!" (Tseward)

"Puppies and kitties and bunnies, oh my!" (Tseward)

"Oh look-that damned penguin is back- HEY PENGUIN! IT'S TOO DAMN HOT FOR A PENGUIN TO JUST BE WALKING AROUND HERE!" (Tseward)

"You may now touch my monkey" *lifts shirt to reveal stuffed monkey toy over crotch* (Tseward)

"Harry... I'm going to adopt you! I always wanted a son just like you!" (Snapesgirl)

*At start of term feast, all is silent, Dumbledore is about to speak* "Oh God! Who cut the cheese!? (Mandy_shamlou)

*Class is silent taking notes, Snape stands up and stubs his toe* "Oh F***!!" (Mandy_shamlou)

"Good Googaly Moogaly!" (Cookie37646985)

"Want to talk about it?" (tilts head to the right and claps hands together in front of chest.) "Tsk. I'm a VERY good listener. No? Okay then, how about a nice big hug?" (Mitch Nickelson)

"But all I ever wanted was to join Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs in their adventures! C'mon, I could have been Slimy!... or - or Slithers! yeah, Slithers!" (Wstautberg)

"Class, I just got new boxers!! Every time I sit down they play a song!!! Isn't that neat?!!" *demonstrates* (Lady Eriathwen)

*sadly sighing* "I wish I had a brain." (Info)

"I hate you, you hate me, Barney gave us HIV! On the bed and now we're on his floor, no more purple dinosaur!" (Info)

*walks into the potion classroom, stoned face.* *sniff* "Have... any of you seen... my..." *sniff* "...pup-puppy?" *sniff* *takes out a small pitcure of a little black labradour* "He..." *sniff* "is only a few months old now... and.... answers to the name of Banjo..." *sniff* *breaks down and cries* "WAY! WAY YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A DOG!!! DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME YOU HAD RAN AWAY WITH MY UNDERWEAR? I still have a hard time putting them together, but still WAY!!!!! BANJO!!!" *falls on knees and sobs uncontrollably. Suddenly after a few minutes he shoots up, eyes dry* "Now then for today's lesson..." (Info)

[Severus:] Muhahahahahahahahaha! (laughs as he presses the plunger) Oh well, there goes Hogwarts, I wonder if Hogsmeade still has that little store with yellow brownies... (Info)

*after flooding the whole dungoen with a backfiring potion* [Dumbledore:] Severus, you will have to be taken into to trial for endangering the lives of children.
[Severus:] *looks frantic* It wasn't me, it was the one-eyed-man!
[Dumbledore:] *stares* (Info)

"Snape thinks it's a lovely day!! Snape wants to go outside and play!! Pretty pretty please, can Snape go outside and play, Dumbledore??!!!" (Lady Eriathwen)

"You scared the bejezus outta me!!" (Lady Eriathwen)

"Oh, Malfoy, I didn't know you could READ!" (Lady Eriathwen)

"Oh come now, Lockhart, you know everybody loves you! Even me!" (Lady Eriathwen)

"What?! Mad-eye Moody teaching D.A.D.A.?! Wow, I'm his biggest fan!!!!!" (Lady Eriathwen)

*to Moody* "I just love that roving eye! It's so... sexy!" (Lady Eriathwen)

*to Lupin* "Oh, you Deserve the D.A.D.A. job, really!" (Lady Eriathwen)

[Snape:] I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, JAMES! (Potter) NEX-*cough cough* Darn it! (oh come on! Who doesn't like Dr. Claw?) (BevinKB)

(my HP character, tending to Snape's wounds)
[Monyx:]Serverus, do you remember the last time you tried to kick your own ass?
[Snape:] My big toe got caught in my underwear, fell out of a window, landing onto a gargoyle... (BevinKB)

(sings as The Phantom of the Opera) "Floating, falling, sweet intoxication! Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation! Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in, to the power of the recipe that I write - the power of the potion of the night! " (BevinKB)

(singing as The Goblin King)
[Snape:] You remind of the babe.
[Minverna:] What babe?
[Snape:] The babe with the power!
[Minverna:] What power?
[Snape:] The power of voodoo!
[Minverna:] Who do?
[Snape:] You do!
[Minverna:] Do what?
[Snape:] Remind me of the babe! (a la of Labyrinth) (BevinKB)

(storms into the dungeon) "WHERE'S MY READER'S DIGEST!?" (BevinKB)

(singing) "Once... there was only silence..... and not a speck of sight..... and every tiny bubble... burst... on it's journey to the light... but the spark of creation will flicker's a brand new era... about to begin... (Alan Rickman's Intelligence) (BevinKB)

(singing) "Can you tell how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?" (BevinKB)

(as a Pokemon) "Sevie? Sevie Snapey! Snapachu!" (BevinKB)

*sings to Potter* "I'm hopelessly devoted to you, but now there's no where to hide. I've put potions aside..." (CARTERJMSR)

"Harry, dear, do you think my feet smell? Or is it just my B.O?" (S.parker97)

"Malfoy, your father is a stupid, ridiculous, big headed bastard." (S.parker97)

"Wow, Harry, your scar is incredible, will you draw one just like it on my head and tell everyone I'm your father?" (S.parker97)

[Snape:] Harry! COME HERE QUICK! I neeeeed to tell you something!! ITS REALLY IMPORTANT!
[Harry:] What is it, Professor Snape?
[Snape:] Well, I wanted to tell you... don't fall in love with Hermione, when you could turn gay and well... have me. I've fancied you for so long. That scar... Harry, it turns me on. (S.parker97)

"Come on, Harry! I can see the snitch from here! MALFOY BACK OFF WILL YOU?!" (S.parker97)

"Harry, suck my toe." (S.parker97)

*sniff sniff* "Eeewwwwww, I'm sure I've got a massive boogie." (S.parker97)

"I'm ugly, aren't I, Professor McGonagall? I blame my mum." (S.parker97)

"Harry Potter, you've passed the fourth year with a A+!! I even told Dumbledore that you should get honor roll!! Ms.Granger, I love your hair today!! You have to tell me how you get it soo puffy!!" (TWEETY909291023)

[Snape:] Potter, Weasly... Granger. What would you 3 young Gryffindors be doing outside on a day like this?
[Harry:] We were... um... just about to follow you to the trap door to stop you getting the stone, Professor.
[Snape:] Oh, very well then. But remember, music calms Fluffy, stay still in that Devil's Snare and watch out for that game of chess. I do hope the 3 of you put together will have the ability to get to the actual mirror itself. (S.parker97)

"Golly gosh, Harry, you did catch up on your beauty sleep!" (S.parker97)

"Harry, thanks for last night, but can I please have my whip back?" (S.parker97)

"Who let the dogs out! Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!" (Syfo1)

"I am the Slytherin Sex God! Kneel before me!" (Syfo1)

"Good morning, class. Due to resent events, I will be leaving... I'm gonna be on survivor." :) (Severly Snapped)

"Mr Potter, can you help me put my clothes on?" (Divinemissb)

"Right now, I'm sitting here looking at you Potter, trying to see things from your point of view... but I can't get my head that far up my ass." (Sabrina)

(to McGonagall) "If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes... then why do you wear a bra??!" (Sabrina)

Black: If you're gonna act like a dick you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one!!
Snape: For the last time, Black, it's called a HAT. (Sabrina)

(to the class) "Today, I will recite my newest poem, class. Roses are red, violets a blue, God made me sexy, what the hell happened to all of you!?" (Sabrina)

"Class, here's another one from Snape's poetry corner. 'A pretty girl can kiss a guy a bird can kiss a butterfly the rising sun can kiss the grass but you my friend! You can kiss my ass!'" (Sabrina)

"Another one of my poems I will share with you all, class. 'I woke early one morning, The Earth lay cool and still When suddenly a tiny bird Perched on my window sill, He sang a song so lovely so carefree and so gay, That slowly all my troubles began to slip away. He sang of far off places Of laughter and of fun, It seemed his very trilling,brought up the morning sun.I stirred beneath the covers crept slowly out of bed, Then gently shut the window... and crushed his fucking head.' I'm not a morning person..." (Sabrina)

Snape: Next question, please...
Student: Professor, how do you get your hair that greasy shade of black?!?
Snape: Oh! Well do you know those bottles of shampoo at the store?
Student: Yeah?
Snape: Don't buy them! Student: Wow! Thanks! I'll have to get rid of all my shampoo bottles right away! Goodbye, Herbal whatever! (Sabrina)

Snape: Put down that hand, you silly girl!
Hermione: But, Professor I...
Snape: Silence!
Hermione: I..
Snape: Put it down!
Hermione: Alright...
Snape: *sniff* Say.. what is that unearthly smell?
Hermione: I was going to tell you I had to go to the bathroom! (Sabrina)

Snape: As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of softly simmering cauldrons *stops* Can we please change the lines, Jo? Why would I use "softly", "simmering", and "foolish" to describe things, when I'm the meanest teacher here!
JKR: No! That is the way I wrote it and you can't change it! *starts to cry*
Snape: Alright... We can do it your way...
JKR: Thanks.. *turns, smiles, and laughs*(Sabrina)

Snape: I wanted this to be professional. Efficient, adroit, cooperative, not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi...
Harry: Oh not again, he's quoting "Die Hard". He must really love that movie.
Hermione: Um, Professor Snape? I thought we were going to do a new potion...
Snape: Silence Mrs. McClane, 10 points will be taken for your smart mouth.
Ron: Professor, that's Hermione, not Mrs. McClane. You're quoting "Die Hard" again... You're not Hans Gruber again, you're just a Potions master.
Snape: I am an exceptional master Mr. Weasley and since I am moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.
Harry: Forget this, I'm going to Dumbledore and I don't care if he's going to try and kill me.
Snape: Ok, Expellaramus! (zaps spell at Potter)
Dumbledore: Snape, have you been watching "Die Hard" again?
Snape: What idiot put you in...
Dumbledore: Stupefy! Sorry students, but Potions is cancelled for the time being and I think Professor Snape should stop watching Muggle action films.
Harry: You're telling me, he's been quoting anything with Alan Rickman and Sirius will quote anything with Gary Oldman in it and he thinks he's Sid Vicious. What's next? Filch quoting Gollum?
Filch: Precious!!!!! (Sabrina)

[Ron:] Hello, Clarice...
[Snape:] How’d he find out my middle name?!? (Sabrina)

"Normal people worry me." *sighs* (Bwaybaby521)

"My hair's not greasy. It's luminous!" *fondly strokes hair* (Mars)

"Potter! Get that rat spleen OUT of your mouth!" (Mars)

"Headmaster... pull my finger!" (Mars)

"Sirius - I need to ask you a sirius question." (Mars)

"Tell me, do you think this moisteriser would help with my complexion?" (Mars)

Okay, you can picture Snape going down the slopes with the skies and the goggles (picture Hooch) going, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" (Mars)

"Oh, I've gotta lovely bunch of coconuts Didily Didily..." (Mars)

"Oh Sybil, darling, would you care to join me for a spot of tea?" (Mars)

"It is by will alone that I set my pants in motion" (Mars)

People in the front
Let me hear you grunt
People in the back
Show me where it's at
*smacks bootay*
People in the stands
Come on clap your hands
*clap clap*
People on the ground
Move it all around
*pelvis wiggle* (Mars)

When I was a little biddy boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two Silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling (Tora)

"Bite me, it's fun" (Tora)

[McGonagall:] Stop that why don't you two kiss and make up. [Black:] Well alright Minerva I'm willing. [Snape:] 'Course you're willing you have to kiss me, look what I'm stuck with. (Tora)

"Class, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Gilderoy." (Anka_11)

*sits down in desk, opens drawer. A bunch of porno magazines fall out. Class stares*
Snape: "Umm... These are Dumbledore's... Yeah, that's it... they're his... I'm just, ummm, safe-guarding them for him..." (Anka_11)

"Hagrid is SO mocho!" (Foxx)

"The one, the only, Tampax Pearl." (Softball_luvin_chik_13)

"Damn it! A run in my new hose!" (Softball_luvin_chik_13)

"No I can't go on a date tonight. Spongebob comes on at 8." (Softball_luvin_chik_13)

"I want to ride the pony, Dumbledore!" (Softball_luvin_chik_13)

(Imitating the song, "Welcome to the Jungle") "Welcome to dungeon, there's no fun or games...." (Softball_luvin_chik_13)

Snape: *alone in his bedroom in front of the mirror, in pig-tails, singing 'Hit Me Baby One More Time.'* C'mon! Hit me baby, one more time!
McGonagall: *walks in the door to see the disturbing scene. She walks across the room and smacks Snape across the face* Snap out of it Severus!
Snape: Holy sh**, Minerva! I didn't actually think you would fall for that one. Just wait until we get in bed, then you can smack me as much as you fancy... (Softball_luvin_chik_13)

Snape: Excuse me, has anybody seen my bra?
Class: No, Sir!
Snape: That darn Remus, always stealing my underwear!
Remus: *comes out of the potionstock* How about this?
Class: *laughs*
Snape: I told you! (J.oostindjer "C'mon babe, why don't we paint the town... and all that jazz." (Babsy)

Snape: Harry, do you know you look just like old James? But you've got Lily's eyes. (Babsy)

"POTTER!!! What have you done to my bra?"
*class stares*
"I mean, what have you done to my... erm... remembra... ll... remembrall...?!?!" (Babsy)

"Sweet home Hogwarts
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home Hogwarts
Dumbledore, I'm coming home to you (Babsy)

Snape: Mad-Eye, guess. It's blue, round, looks in all directions and it's between Minerva's breasts...
Moody: Erm... surely you aren't talking about my eye? *trying to get his eye out of Minerva's breasts, looking innocent* (Babsy)

Snape: It is time I told you everything, Harry... you see, in a moment of writer's block, J.K brought back the Time Turner and you became stranded in the past, never to return.
Harry: How far in the past?
Snape: Let's put it this way, Harry - my eyes used to be green and my own dad bullied me at school...
Snape: It gets worse - guess who Hermione turned into... (Xenomorphic_chick)

(singing, whilst doing a striptease on the high table in the Great Hall ) "You can leave your head on, ta ta ta, tatata." ( "Yes, sir?"
"Can't you figure this out with your huge squishy frontal lobes?" (

"Who’s your daddy, who’s your baby?
Who’s your buddy, who’s your friend?
And who’s the one guy that you come runnin’ to
When your lovelife starts tumblin’?
I got the money if you got the honey
Let’s cut a deal let’s make a plan
Who’s your daddy, who’s your baby?
Who’s your buddy, who’s your man? (Toby Keith, "Who's Your Daddy") (Ihbkelly)

(singing) "I'd rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands, and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it til I die..."
"Than spend one more minute with you!" (Song is Al Yankovic's One More Minute) (Ihbkelly)

"Hasta la vista, Voldy." (Ihbkelly)

"The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed!" (Ihbkelly)

*During quiet Death Eater moment when Voldiekins is talking of his latest scheme* "I think I shat my pants." (Frederick Dirge)

"Let's do the Time Warp agaiin!" (Frederick Dirge)

(Dancing seductively infront of the class) "Like a genie in a bottle, baby, gotta rub me the right way honey!" (Frederick Dirge)

"Dammit, Black! Have you used all my lube AGAIN?!" (Frederick Dirge)

"You know, I look like Marilyn Manson with no make-up on. Hmm." (Frederick Dirge)

"Smell my finger." (Frederick Dirge)

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." (Frederick Dirge)

"Ich bin ein Ei. EIN EI!!!!" (I am an egg. AN EGG!) (Frederick Dirge)

"Deutschland Deutschland uber alles!" (Frederick Dirge)

"That time of the month, Lupin? Awww! Who's a wittle moody woody werewolf!" (Frederick Dirge)

*After poking at a wedgie for about an hour*
"That's it! No thongs for me ever again!"
*Class stares at him, horrified* (Frederick Dirge)

*At Lupin. Dancing ridiculously, poking him in the ribs every now and again*
"Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?! Not me!" (Frederick Dirge)

"Thunderbolt attack Pikachu!" (Frederick Dirge)

"He was skater boy! She said see ya later boy! He wasn't good enough for her!" *sobbing* "He wasn't good enough..." (Frederick Dirge)

"Is there chicken in chick peas?" (Frederick Dirge)

"I likes blinking I do." (Frederick Dirge)

"Ooo ar!" (Frederick Dirge)

(In redneck type accent) "Cardy-board toobes! Now we can have plummin' !" (Frederick Dirge)

"You don't wanna see my angry face!" (Frederick Dirge)

"Can a man not wank in peace!?" (Frederick Dirge)

"Don't eat that! You'll get your chakras all clogged!" (Frederick Dirge)

"Yeah, you can email me at," (Frederick Dirge)

"I cry every time I see the sound of music. Those kids... the lonely goat herd..." (Frederick Dirge)

*Doing bad karoke, pointing at Sirius* "He ain't nuthin' but a hound dog, and he ain't no friend of mine!" (Frederick Dirge)

"You know... you'd think I'd have sexuality issues wearing what greatly resembles a dress every single day of my life, but no." (Frederick Dirge)

"I'm so excited I just could just pee." (Frederick Dirge)

"Potter, would you rub that bulge in my pant for me?" (shelbyriddle)

"It's not the size of the wand, it's the motion of the potion." (A take on the cliche, "It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean") (

"Hermy, you're growing up so fast! I remember when you were just a little baby... Oh, those times..." (Laura)

"Heaven must be missing an angel... cuz I'm here." (Laura)

*looking in the mirror* "DAMN, baby! Looking good!" (Kiram Snape)

(Looking sexily at Lucius Malfoy) "Come to daddy." (Angels Vampire)

"Oh, Voldemort! Lucius was always your pet!" (starts kicking and screaming) "It's not fair!!!" (Angels Vampire)

"Smile, Potter. It's not the end of the world, you know." (Angels Vampire)

(Yelling at a Quidditch match) "Go, Slytherin! Go, Slytherin!" (Under his breath) "Go, Gryfindor... especially that sexy Oliver Wood..." (Angels Vampire)

"Today, class, I'm going to teach you all a valuable lesson... how to shake your booty!" (Angels Vampire)

(*singing*) "I'll do you, nine to five, in every way and position. Then I'll do you nine to five if I'm not pushin', then I'm lickin'!" (Frederick Dirge & Lee)

"Class, I washed my hair today." (Feltonchick89)

"It's all in the hips." (Feltonchick89)

"You look like you need a hug." (Feltonchick89)

"I found this really cool outfit in the mall the other day!" (Feltonchick89)

Snape's Chambers -- the funny side of liking Professor Snape