[Syn:] Welcome back to one of my lovely interviews! Say they are, or die... Anyhoo, after managing to convince the Professor that I wasn't acting myself in the last interview, he agreed to have another. Say hello to Professor Snape!

[Snape:] (agitated) Hmph! Hurry up and get this over with!

[Syn:] Today, Professor, we will be discussing your love life. Agreed? You know you signed the contract while you were drug- um, signed the contract.

[Snape:] (mumble) Of course. As long as you refrain from mentioning my relationship with a one Gilderoy Lockhart.

[Syn:] So how was your relationship with the one Gilderoy Lockhart?

[Snape:] What did I just say?! (glances backstage and glimpses Lockhart with a vibrator and handcuffs) I... It was most interesting. (gritting teeth, trying not to sweat)

[Syn:] Is that it? We're all dying to know the details!

[Snape:] That is all. Nothing more. Will you allow me to tell you about my past girlfriends?

[Syn:] Ok, fine. How many girlfriends have you had?

[Snape:] Several, come to think of it. I did, however, seem to have more during my school years.

[Syn:] -_- No, really

[Snape:] *cough-one-cough*

[Syn:] Really? How cool! How long did this relationship last, then?

[Snape:] After she finally figured I was actually a male, she didn't want anything to do with me. She was attracted to the same sex, you see.

[Syn:] How long?

[Snape:] 5 mintues. I was 20. Graced long hair, I resembled a female. No sex, but we were close.

[Syn:] Interesting...

[Snape:] (notices Lockhart slowly advancing to his chair and frowns) So how are YOU doing, Synasia?

[Syn:] I'm fine, thank you! Um... but this is all about you afterall... What's wrong, Professor? You seem preoccupied.

[Snape:] Nothing, nothing at all! It just seems to feel rather hot with all these dark clothes on.

[Syn:] Um... sir? You're not WEARING any clothes.

[Snape:] What? HO-*beep* SH-*beep*!! WHERE HAVE THEY GONE?! (notices his clothes being dragged away by a mysterious hand) Oh, Merlin! It appears I will be as-*beep* ra-*beep* again. [editor: ass raped]

[Syn:] What? What is this I'm hearing?

[Snape:] Oh, it's true. My relationship with Mr Lockhart continues. But I refuse to play his... *shudder* games!

[Lockhart:] (with the vibrator on) Haha! Time for play, Severus!

[Snape:] I... what? MOLESTOR! Stay back!

[Lockhart:] Muhahahaha!!

Snape and Lockhart run out of the studio, screaming. (Snape screaming in fear, Lockhart screaming in... excitment)

[Syn:] O.o? That... was disturbing. Oh, well. I guess I'll see you guys next time! Watch out for the Golden Wanderer, kids!