Say
"Lockhart is much more sexier than Snape!" (Uh oh)
"Black robes suck!" (Wha-?!)
"He's soooooo skinny!" (Grrr!)
"He's too nosey. That's why he has a big nose." (Come over here and say that to my face!)
"He has black eyes. That's so uncool." (Is not)
"He has pale skin. Told ya he was uncool." (Right back at ya!)
"I'd rather marry Vernon, than come near Snape!" (Who said that?!)
"Wow, Dobby's so hot! Not ugly like that Snape person!" (...sicko)
"'Severus Snape?' What kinda name is that?!" (It's exotic!)
"He's fiction! He doesn't exist!" (Nooooooooo!)
"I've heard that some total dunderheads are in LOVE with Snape! Can you believe that? How ridiculous!" (What?! I love Snape! That's NOT ridiculous! DIE!)
"Harry Potter books suck!" (*beep!*)
"You know, these dungeons need remodling. How about.... PINK?!" (Bluemeanies) (What? Nooooo!)
"The only reason he doesn't smile is because he's afraid his nose would touch his teeth!" (At least he has teeth! *punch*)
Do
Write Snape/Petunia fics (the flames...)
Make a Vernon shrine with an Anti-Snape section (Boy, would I love to see that!)
Write mails to fanfic writers, telling them to write Snape fics - even though they've never heard of him (ok, ok. That was lame...)
Write a Top Ten list of 'Why Snape doesn't belong in the hearts of young ladies' and await your doom. (Yep *nods*)
Burn Snape related items (Harriet Potter)